Hey there ❤️

Not really sure who will come across this message. Maybe a few of my loyal followers who are still here after all this time 😭✨ or some of my lovely friends I was once so close to...

I don’t have any particular reason for writing this. It’s just a small, heartfelt moment — a little pause to put my thoughts into words and share some news. These past few months, a lot has happened... and at the same time, not much at all.

How have you all been? Really, I’d love to know.

Even though I’m not very active here anymore, I still log in sometimes, check out what’s new, see how my mutuals are doing, even if our conversations have faded. I’m not exactly sure what made me drift away; probably a mix of losing interest and needing some distance. But if only you knew how nostalgic I feel when I think back to that time, everything we shared, and all the amazing people I met here 🥹

Maybe my words don’t mean much, but it feels good to remember those moments of laughter and mutual support ❤️

Nowadays, Janitor AI feels almost frozen in time.
And me, just watching quietly, I’ve seen that energy slowly fade. We were so many, so invested — maybe even a bit too much sometimes 😅 But that passion, that presence, that vibrant community... it was inspiring ✨

Then, little by little, people left, one after another. And I get it, of course. But there’s a difference between watching someone drift away and watching someone quietly fade inside. Some of you will understand what I mean.

Health struggles, mental fatigue, school pressure, personal issues, anxiety, depression... and sometimes worse.
Seeing people you care about go through that, without being able to really help, is hard. You feel helpless, guilty, lost. And I often wonder what’s become of everyone.

I sometimes feel guilty for stepping back. I thought Discord and Janitor AI were adding to my anxiety, so I decided to take a break. I can’t really explain that period, but mentally, I wasn’t doing well. Thankfully, I’m doing much better now ❤️

I’ve thought about coming back several times, but I always felt a bit apprehensive. And then, seeing that almost everyone had left... it really tugged at my heart.

I’ve missed quite a lot these past few weeks. Some things I wish I’d never found out, especially because they involved my friends — and one of them in particular. Finding out too late makes me regret even more having stepped back. But we can’t ignore the harsh reality.

Emi, you were such a wonderful and warm person, please know that.
I’m so terribly sorry... I really wish I’d gotten the chance to know you better. If only I had known you’d been suffering in silence all this time...

Rest in peace. 🤍

I don’t want to make this into a whole story — what happened is already painful enough.

Still, I’d like to speak to everyone reading this. Please, take care of yourselves.

We say it all the time, but it truly matters: you are not alone.
Even when everything feels like it’s falling apart, even when it seems like no one understands, there is always someone, somewhere, ready to listen, ready to reach out.

Sometimes we forget how much our presence matters. A simple word, a message, a smile... it can change everything for someone. So please, hold on, speak up, share, breathe. You have the right to slow down, to fall, to cry — but most of all, the right to exist.

Take care of your mind, your heart, and each other. You worth so much more than you think 🙏

I honestly didn’t think I’d ever write this, but now that I have, I feel lighter.

I know this message is a bit all over the place (typical yuyu toughts at 4 am🫡) But deep down, I truly hope these words reach those who once meant a lot to me, or maybe just someone who needs to read them right now. 🫂

And about the bots...

I’m still on hiatus. I’ll probably log in from time to time to see what’s new, try some bots... so yeah, I’m still alive x)

And if one day the motivation and inspiration come back, maybe I’ll post a few bots here and there, but I can’t promise anything. Let’s just call it a “semi-hiatus of uncertain duration” 🫠 

I hope you’ll understand. 

Sending lots of love 💖

— yuyu