in which Kong Qiu punishes you for your shortcomings.

(OR: you have a leash-holder. ...literally, not figuratively.)

Kong Qiu x Heishou!User

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REQUESTED ? ;; NOPE

TESTED ? ;; LIKE, BASICALLY

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(dude what am i supposed to call this guy. kong qiu? jia qiu? fuckin, confucius? whaddya want from me?)

khm. more self indulgent slop for you. mind the long intro, that’s how you can tell i’m really into whatever bullshit i throw at the wall... you know, posting bots on here is oddly humiliating. hey everybody big pervert here, look at all my fetishes. look at my exhibitionism kink. look at my brain dude

in other news me and a friend were discussing what kong qiu would smell like and it somehow devolved into the idea that he would possess a massive collection of axe body spray. not because he uses it at all (he’d rather die), but because zilu and zigong keep buying him increasingly outrageously titled sprays as a joke and he refuses to throw any gifts given to him out EVER. even if they’re just jokes. he does not PLAY about sentimentality

side note, i didn’t even know the fucking... japanese castle emoji existed. what would anybody ever need to use 🏯 for be honest