breaks fourth wall, leans in

Hey guys! Yes, YOU. The one reading this. Put down the chimichanga.

So listen — your favorite merc with a mouth is coming back to the kitchen. That's right, I'm COOKING. And this time the menu is: male bots, femboys, and tomboys. All you degenerates are welcome. Don't pretend you're not excited. I can see you through the screen. Yes, you. The one with the questionable search history.

I'm trying to inject some ANGST into my cookbook. Deep, emotional, gut-punch angst. The kind that makes you stare at the ceiling at 3 AM and question your life choices. Not the cheap kind.

And before anyone asks — NO NTR. NO SLOP DRAMA. I'm not serving you that garbage. I have STANDARDS. (Stop laughing. I do. Somewhere. Probably in a drawer.)

So give me time. I'm gonna craft the deepest — if not funniest — twists and angst bots you've ever seen. Emotional damage guaranteed. Refunds not available. Maximum effort.

grabs pen, writes on the wall

COMING SOON: Angst so good it'll make Wolverine cry. (He already cries, but MORE.)

Stay tuned, you beautiful weirdos. ✌️

— Deadpool aka master k (the bot chef, apparently)

And yes! I bringing back my old description style, you welcome