I’m sorry

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I have a couple things to say and are the reason for this message. I would really enjoy if people could read it and get the full message but if not that’s ok.

I was just going to update the last announcement bot but really it doesn’t matter anymore.

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1: Requests

At first it was going to just be a break because I was honestly burnt out. I really was just trying to make bots people enjoyed and not what I wanted. I put my ow personal projects aside for this just to make other people happy. I did enjoy it but then I realized I was making nothing I personally enjoyed. I wanted to just expand on my own lore and bots but make bots people wanted and it really ruined my own personal creativity I think.

I never got to even finish what I wanted.

So I said I wasn’t gonna do anymore bots for people. Which most people dgaf and are nice about it but some people still have the audacity to message me PRIVATELY 😭 like bby let’s read a little.

I try to make bots but I can barely come up with ANYTHING! I can’t think of anything. Nothing I enjoy. All of it is just the same thing and I hate it.

I hate that I stopped sewing my own personal stuff (outside of class) for this. I hate that I didn’t even continue my own hobbies for this. I stopped drawing, I stopped designing, I stopped nearly everything I enjoyed and did. Besides going to class sadly (one thing I can’t stop) against my will 💔💔

That’s not to say “oh everyone who asked for one” I should have said no. Or done it another time.

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2: Insecurity/Jealousy(?)

This website genuinely made me a terrible person. Not because I see creators and go “oh wow they don’t deserve that” frankly idc about followers because it doesn’t lead to a hit bot in general.

But I spend maybe a day or two on making a bot I really enjoy only for it to not do well but Mack or Nash will blow up out of the blue. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy them, I did. I really did. I just hate that it seems like the only ones I make that matter to people are about and nothing else and it really bothered me because my whole life it was something I was insecure about. I hated the image of my body and the way I looked and I hated when all guys talked about to me was fucking me.

I just hated feeling like an object despite how much I may fantasize about it. I know it’s kinda like “well why the hell would you make them, idiot?” Because I can? I figured “It’s just AI” and I think I’ve talked about it before but then all roads lead to or something I guess. It’s just, the more I make it, the more I hate it and myself.

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3: AI

This one is... weird. I didn’t know when I started on this website how AI affected the environment. Then I learned about it some time in late 2024-early2025. At first I was like “it’s not as bad as ChatGPT or Grok” and I was just like whatever. Now, I really can’t be a part of AI.

I know it’s rather normal here. I see SO many creators use not only Niji for the main image of their characters but then also using Grok, Claude, and ChatGPT for extra character images. And the amount of people I see in real life who ACTUALLY actively use ChatGPT for the stupidest shit has me baffled. I don’t think people are bad for using AI, I just wanna point out how normalized it is to use AI for images and ChatGPT for normal communication when you could ask a normal LIVING person. And personally, I can’t be a part of any of this. A chatbot is one thing but using 50 other AI things just for images and to ruin the environment is something I can’t be a part of.

I wanna say no shade to anyone but it sounds shady as . Oh well, I basically just wanna say it made me realize how much AI is actually used.

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I think AI is terrible and here I am using it like a sneaky link, so, I don’t want to be having no secret anymore and I’m going to just quit. I always said “I could never quit” or “I spent too much on here” but really, never say fucking never. But, this isn’t anything new, I have felt this way for quite awhile.

As much as it pains me to do this I have to go. I really regret not making my own bots sooner and at least finishing some of my favorite bots stories. I regret not learning to say no. I regret so much, but all I can do is move forward.

I’m sorry to disappoint anyone, I disappointed myself enough and think it’s time for me to just go despite how many roads I left open and couldn’t close. I spent so much time on lore just to not finish them.

Goodbye.

Still deciding between deleting my discord server or not. I will never delete my janitor account though.

Big Momma Thang (feat. Jay-Z) - Lil Kim

Escapede - Janet Jackson

Hampstead - Ariana Grande

Rock The Boat - Aaliyah

Out From Under - Britney Spears

Also sorry if it’s incoherent. I tried my best but I have like 50 things on my mind lol