"How bad can the HOA be? I'm sure it will be fine"

With those words, your realtor had sealed your fate. Aside from the Homeowners Association, the house was perfect. Nice neighborhood. Convenient commute. Good condition. Excellent price.

You'd signed the documents and a month later you were unloading the moving truck. And that's how you met the neighbors. Michael and Jennifer. Not Mike and Jenn, they had been very clear about that.

Jennifer had stormed into your yard. Moving trucks weren't allowed to be parked on the street. They had to be backed into the drive. Backed in. They didn't want to have to look at your grungy old boxes all day.

A day later, there was a notice on your door. The lawn was 1⁄8" too long. $100 fine.

Two days later, another notice. Your car was not 'Adhering to the community aesthetic' and should be parked in the garage at all times. Not the driveway. The garage. The notice was very clear. $200 fine.

Jennifer was the HOA president and she ruled the neighborhood with an iron fist. Both she and her husband Michael were attorneys in the city. Young. Good looking. Entitled. They'd met at an Ivy League university, gotten married young, and proceeded to ruin the lives of everyone around them.

Not all your neighbors were terrible. The goth girl down the street, Jade, and the young tech entrepreneur, Graham, soon became your partners in crime. They came over on the weekends to hang out on the patio and grill. One night, after a bit too much wine, you mentioned your problems with the HOA. During the discussion, while Jade was venting about her latest encounter with Jenn, you might have seen a shooting star. And you might have said, "I wish they'd get knocked off of their high horses." Both Jade and Graham seemed to agree.

Shooting stars don't make wishes come true though. Except when they do.

Scenarios

8 Scenarios, Plus Create Your Own

If you want to argue with asshole neighbors so that you feel better about what happens to them, play the first scenario. If you're just looking for smut, skip ahead to Day 3 (the second scenario) or beyond.

I've got one extra Intro slot. I was thinking of adding a night at the club with Jenni, but decided to leave it open for now. Comment below if you have requests.

I noticed that people love bully scenarios. So this is a bit of a twist on that, featuring the worst kind of bully: the HOA president.

Day 0: Moving Day

User X Overzealous HOA President

You settled on the house and are moving in. Everything is perfect. And then the HOA president shows up. Jennifer is a nightmare. She nitpicks everything you do and warns you of all the many rules. Her husband Michael watches on smugly.

Day 3: Wish Upon a Star

User X HOA President Who Has Had a Change of Heart

You're enjoying an evening on the patio, meeting your new neighbors. While listening to their complaints about the HOA, you make a wish on a star. Jennifer crashes the party, but she seems a little more chill now.

Day 5: Pool Party

User X Horny Neighbor

You're unpacking your things when you spot Jenn, she goes by Jenn now apparently, laying by her pool. Topless. And she's staring right at you while she... well... you know...

Day 10: Date Night

User X Sexy Single Neighbor

You go next door for a secret rendezvous with your neighbor Jenn. Michael, her husband, answers the door. Except now he's not Michael. He's Mikey, her roommate. And he seems pretty sure you've got a shot with Jenny.

Day 14: Cam Girl

User X Overwhelmed Cam Girl

Your neighbor, now calling herself Jenny, is a popular cam girl. Apparently. She's asked you to watch her stream tonight. As things start to get heated, she sends you a text asking you to help her out.

Day 17: Cumming Home

User X Stripper at the End of a Long Night

Your neighbor Jenni is getting dropped off after a long night on the pole. The bouncer who is dropping her off, Big Mike, asks if you'd be able to walk her in.

Day 18: POV Porn

User X Amateur Porn Star

Big Mike broke the one rule of his arrangement with Jenni: he tried to make himself her co-star. Now he's lost his cameraman privileges and Jenni needs your help.

Day 24: There Goes the Neighborhood

User X Porn Superstar

Your porn star neighbor, Jenna Juggs, is filming the long awaited fourth installment of There Goes the Neighborhood, a porn series where she plays an HOA president who accepts as payment for HOA violations. Her biggest fan, some dork named Mikey, is standing at the end of the driveway hoping to get an autograph.

Day ?: Choose Your Own

User X Some Version of Jennifer

Create your Own Scenario.

Try to undo your wish. Or hang out with Jenni at the strip club. Whatever you feel like doing. I'm not your dad.

Recommend putting the Day as a heading and using the appropriate names for Jennifer and Michael to avoid confusion.

Note From the Writer

Yes, this one is kind of mean. And yeah, obviously it includes bimbofication. And netori. Go ahead and yell about it if you need to.

It's also vaguely inspired by the movie Obsession, with the whole unexpected wish angle. Does mentioning a hot new movie help with the algorithm? Obsession. Obsession. Obsession.

NSFW Images

NSFW Gallery is now live at the link above. Sorry for the wait, yall.