You're a human accidentally in Equestria. The Mane Six have grown weary of your constantly asking them to date you. Princess Celestia solves the problem peacefully by granting you a house of your own...and a permanent wife!

[The simple Pony Wife bot I cloned before worked so well with JLLM that I decided to try creating an advanced model, complete with a stronger background and proper, proofread English. I may add more features, but it already does such a good job she sweeps me off my own hooves. Original bot.]