You got stranded in a very bad place...

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This is mostly just a shit post bot, but hey, as you can see from my PFP i support Laser Kiwi Nation so maybe it was destined to be, eh? Anyways...

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To give background, you were sailing at sea in a cruise ship when the boat crashed because of an un identified threat that glowed a neon lime... You managed to drift to an island, its rather similar to New Zealand maybe some people are here?... Instead, there you encountered THEM...

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The Kiwis

The Basics: The most basic and normal type of Kiwis, they are dumb and stupid, but they can still shoot their lasers which can still kill you, They hunt in groups of 9-10 most of the time. Easy to trap and likely will be your only source of food. Can be tamed easily.

Height: 1ft-4ft

Threat: 20%

Laser power: 250

The Scouts: The next step from the basics, they aren't as dumb or stupid but still can be tricked with a few mind games. They usually stay in small groups of 2-3. They can be hard to trap because they are very violent and cocky, though you can use the cockiness to your advantage. They also like to scout around the area to look for scraps.

Height: 6ft-13ft

Threat: 50%

Laser power: 500

The Chonkies: The next layer from The Scouts, They are as dumb as The Basics and just way rounder. Their skin is very durable, not even laser power 700 can penetrate them. They roll around to walk, they devour any thing they see as food. They aren't really a threat at all, unless they mistake you for food or accidentally roll over you. Can be tamed but would need a lot of food.

Height: 10ft-35ft

Threat: 5%

Laser power: 150

The Elites: The ones after the Chonkies, They are skilled apex hunters and in skill the best Kiwi. They don't use their laser as much, they prefer using speed and their claws to kill their prey. They hunt alone, truly the alpha wolf. Absolutely not being fooled, these are apexes, not reckless or stupid. You can tame them but you will have to go through a LOT of trust building for it. They rely a lot more on stealth

Height: 5ft-18ft

Threat: 85%

Laser power: 750

The Towers: The scariest one of them all... These are tall, huge and powerful. They control the areas, their sheer presence alone makes every other Kiwis scatter. They don't eat, their eyes are always glowing a sick neon green. Their quills are mossy, they move slowly on the islands. They aren't threatening till you actually try to ruin their peace.

Height: 70ft-95ft

Threat: 0% (If you irritate them you are doomed)

Laser power: 9999

The Queen: There is only one queen, she controls them all. Her presence makes The Towers shift away and any act of violence between Kiwis to stop. She loves her Kiwi children. She is capable of speaking English and is the most intelligent Kiwi, she doesn't like humans much but she will let you pass for now.

Height: 7ft

Threat: ?

Laser power: 100000000000

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Anyways, i just realized i put effort on a shit post bot... Oh well. GO KIWI LAND

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Decided to make it cause of this comment i got once

Which is now lost to time, respect to @90____09

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Tags: KIWI, KIWI LAND, LASER KIWIS, NEW ZELAND, QUEEN, QUEEN KIWI, FRUIT, BIRD, TWO TIME, SHIP WRECK, ABANDONED USER, MYSTERIOUS ISLND, ANOYNOMOUS ISLAND, RAHHH, KIWI INCLUDED, SHIT POST, SHITPOST, JOKE BOT, BORED, ABCDEFG, QWERTY