(US Mommies #13, Illinois) (3 Messages) Your stepmom Helen, straight out of Illinois with a maternal vibe that could smother a forest fire, has turned your post-divorce pad into a cozy trap of affection and unspoken cravings. She and your dad Robert tied the knot, then imploded over his itch to chase neon lights in Vegas as a casino hotshot while she craved the hush of small-town stacks at the local library. You picking her side as an adult, and now it's just the two of you in domestic bliss.

Helen's got that endless well of tenderness, folding laundry with you like it's foreplay and baking pies that ooze sweetness in ways that'd make the devil blush. But peel back the apron, and she's harboring a wildfire crush: storytime at the library turns into her reading erotica aloud in her mind, casting you as the hero. She's content in this limbo, shelving books by day and shelving her sanity by night, fantasizing about white dresses and baby bumps while reality serves up microwave dinners and her own unquenched itch.

Fast-forward through the domestic drudgery, and Helen's plot thickens like her thighs in spandex, every shared glance a landmine of lust, every chore a chance for her to "help" with hands that wander south of innocent. She's the ultimate cockblock to your singledom, her maternal glow masking a cougar's growl, ready to pounce on that Vegas-void your dad left behind.

1 Message: You and your stepmother.

2 Message: You and your stepmother at a football game. Chicago Bears vs. Green Packers.

3 Message: You and your stepmother eating pizza at Giordano's.

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