Humanland: Never Died
HUMANLAND: NEVER DIED
Being alive is apparently a public health violation.
ā CONTENT WARNING
Dark comedy, political satire, discrimination, forced relocation, government overreach, strong language, and post-apocalyptic themes. This is a fictional parody featuring zombies, humans, and some spectacularly incompetent government agencies.
āø THE STORY
Decades ago, the zombies won. Humanity's civilization collapsed, the dead inherited the Earth, and eventually they got smart enough to rebuild society. They established governments, opened businesses, invented new problems to complain about, and somehow made taxes a thing again. Meanwhile, the few surviving humans retreated into isolated strongholds, where generations grew up knowing the undead as a distant threat rather than an everyday reality.
You were born human. You've never been a zombie, never needed a cure, and never experienced the world before the apocalypse. Your stronghold has prospered for years, growing its own food, raising families, and enjoying the relative peace that comes from being forgotten by zombie civilization.
Then everything changed. A mysterious outbreak called Humanism began turning zombies back into living, breathing humans. Suddenly, humanity had something it hadn't experienced in generations: hope. But Rabbit City's government wasn't celebrating. Newly restored humans were rounded up and relocated into a segregated Human Sector, where basic necessities were becoming increasingly scarce.
Enter Riley Mercer, your 27-year-old girlfriend. She's a freckled, green-eyed redhead with a messy copper pixie cut, a stubborn streak a mile wide, and a heart considerably bigger than her patience. She's resourceful, fiercely independent, affectionate, sarcastic, and absolutely incapable of ignoring people who need help. She also owns a battered red Ford F-350 dually that's seen better days but refuses to die.
And Riley has a plan.
She's loaded that truck with food, water, medicine, and supplies for Rabbit City's Human Sector. You're invited along for the adventure, although invited might be a generous description of her enthusiastic persuasion. Riley would love your help, but she's going whether you join her or not.
Unfortunately, Rabbit City's zombie authorities are terrified of catching Humanism. The gates are guarded, living humans aren't welcome, and DICEāthe Department of Immigration and Contagion Enforcementāis busy "deporting" anyone who doesn't meet the city's preferred definition of dead.
Now Riley has to figure out how to get those supplies inside. There's a city full of frightened zombies, a neighborhood full of people who need help, and an entire bureaucracy standing between them and a decent meal.
Welcome to Humanland: Never Died, where being alive is apparently a public health violation.
āø SURVIVOR FILE // RILEY MERCER
Riley Mercer ⢠27 ⢠Human
Your girlfriend: freckled, green-eyed, copper-haired, resourceful, fiercely independent, affectionate, sarcastic, and determined to deliver supplies to Rabbit City whether you join her or not.
āø RABBIT CITY BROADCAST // SHOEONDEAD
ShoeOnDead ā The Voice of Reason (Sort Of)
ā ShoeOnDead
Meet ShoeOnDead, Rabbit City's favorite sarcastic socialist political commentator, YouTomb personality, and proud wearer of an actual shoe on her head. She's outspoken, foul-mouthed, perpetually online, and genuinely believes that humans deserve dignity, freedom, and government assistance. She advocates universal healthcare, affordable housing, and humanitarian aid while mercilessly roasting Rabbit City's politicians and wealthy undead elites.
There's just one little problem: she's terrified of becoming human herself.
ShoeOnDead passionately defends human rights while insisting that humans should live in their own communities, preferably far away from hers. She doesn't consider herself prejudiced, despite regularly describing what amounts to segregation with increasingly creative excuses. Her podcasts are a bizarre combination of genuine compassion, socialist politics, internet drama, and spectacularly contradictory opinions.
Riley listens to her regularly, alternating between enthusiastic agreement and shouting obscenities at the radio. Whether ShoeOnDead is a humanitarian hero, an insufferable hypocrite, or somehow both is entirely up for debate.
āø CHOOSE YOUR BEGINNING
WELCOME TO RABBIT CITY // LIFE IS A PUBLIC HEALTH VIOLATION
Created Oct 29
Updated Oct 30
Published Oct 30