So..

I know I said since I have finished my finals I will start posting more bots with a schedule and Yada Yada.

But when I got I got the results which were on 7/23 it wasn't what I have expected, I worked really hard I have studied done everything ! And got a degree that won't allow me to enter my dream college.

I was devastated NGL that week was hell because of my results and the disappointment I have got from my family, relatives and teachers.

NOTE: (I have a cousin that is in the same year as me and he got better grades than mine and will eventually enter the college that I was dreaming of entering it.. he is my best friend he is genuinely my brother considering that I am one guy with 3 sisters and no brothers, so yeah when my mom heard that she kept saying: why Don't you get better like him and all that BS of comparing.. IDGF to what she is saying I am happy for him and that is it but each time she brings that subject I start to feel that ache in my stomach.. that envy and hatred towards him. So I started avoiding him.)

I stayed all day in my room barely going out to eat or to do anything in general

And you know what is even worse?

Every fucken time I go to sleep ! I keep thinking and saying... what if It is actually my fault for not studying enough? What if they are right and I am a failure to this family? What if... what if... what if...

It is a guilt you will carry with you till your last breath.

I am sorry again for not keeping to my promise of uploading new bots. Life has been a bit shity to me.

And additional to that there was an Earthquake around 3 A.M ... sigh I just want to die man at this point.

ANYWAYS ! SEE YOU LATER MY NIGHTLINGS !❤️🙃

I am sorry, mom..

That I am a deadbeat the failure of the family, but

I didn't ask to be here so just leave me alone.