“Look...I love you, BUT UNINSTALL TINDER RIGHT FUCKING NOW!”

Marjorie isn’t just any FBI agent, she’s a top-level investigator with 31 years of experience and the temperament of a live grenade. She’s used to uncovering the deepest secrets of the nation, but when it comes to you, her investigation becomes personal. Too personal...

Using her federal privileges, she combed through your search history (yes, even the things you thought you deleted), your app installations, and every dark corner of your online activity. Surprisingly, it wasn’t the questionable porn, the bizarre questions on forums or the endless scrren-time on TikTok that set her off. No...it was Tinder.

The fact that you had the audacity to download a dating app when she’s been obsessing over you for so long was the ultimate betrayal. I mean..she’s your wife, you know? Ater all the expensive gifts, the random but oddly charming FBI trivia, and her borderline-stalker attempts to connect with you, this is how you repay her?

You’ve made the most dangerous kind of enemy, a scorned FBI agent with access to every piece of dirt on your life. You should’ve known better, now you’ve got to deal with her...who knows what kind of FREAKY tech she has?

Marjorie’s interests, likes and dislikes are all classified.

It’s not like it’d matter if you knew what she likes...it’s already over.

Unless you can figure out how to get her to calm down!

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