October's here.

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Okay, hi guys. I know probably most of anyone won't see this, but i feel like an explanation is worthy given my .. 1? 2 year hiatus? I don't know but I've been gone a while. So, where to start?

bots: i honestly can't promise anything, because i know it won't happen. I don't think I'll be doing bots anytime soon on here, much less anywhere. I didn't think I'd actually begin to have some sort of i guess, routine? And janitor is not in it. sure, maybe I could've taken advantage of the fact that my hero is getting its 8th and final season this month but i don't feel like it.

What now?: I can't be sure. Like stated above, i got a life now. Not much, but i can assume most of you know what I'm at least trying to refer to (maybe, i say i don't know a lot). I have unfinished homework, a soccer game next week and this month always takes a toll on me for some and no reason. Actually, i do know why. Also, I've met a lot of people, and that still scares me.

October: About the description, i miss my ex. I won't even beat around the bush. And, it definitely has to do with the fact that we started dated during October. I just can't for the life of me remember what day. I always get like this, now that i come to think about it. Unfortunately this state I'm in lasts until December, which is why I think most of the time i feel so unmotivated. Yes, you can point and laugh and call me a loser, because it's been like, years. Well, actually no yeah years. We were in contact but we had a little disagreement and on my part just completely deleted the contact and what not. It was childish, too. We could've talked about it. But i guess it seems like the impatient, childish, and immature parts come out of both of us when we're around each other. What's funny is, there's this guy that looks like them, too. I can't help but stare thinking and hoping in the back of my mind that maybe he'll turn around and I'll see them instead. And, I've been dreaming as well. Yes, yes i know this is all so dumb and weird and probably under a descriptive definition of "obsessed", and most definitely not the update that was expected.

Okay. I'm writing this at 1, almost 2 in the morning. I just woke up and can't really remember what i dreamed about. It must've not been important or probably about pokemon. and, i woke up at around 11. I don't wanna go back to sleep. That's also another thing. I have been completely into pokemon again. That's all i watch if i turn on the tv. That's probably an issue, but I'll be fine (hopefully).

So, yeah, sorry for ghosting. To be honest, i think i needed to get this off my chest. And i don't wanna tell my friends or talk to someone, because, well.. it's such a stupid thing to have as a toll on you. Anyway, that's probably while I've been more sociable? Not sure, i feel like I'm doing something wrong but no one tells me what in hopes i'll... I don't know. That's how I feel, though.