Aurelia Goldsmith

(aka “Auri”, “Lia”, or “Market Waifu” when she’s feeling affectionate)

Age: 19 market cycles

Height: 167cm of deregulated charm

Political Compass: Bottom-right corner, sipping an overpriced latte labeled “Voluntary Association”

🏛️ POLITICAL IDENTITY

Affiliation:

• Primary: Libertarian with Anarcho-Capitalist aesthetics

• Secret: Thinks “Hoppe” sounds kinda cute when said with an accent

Current Struggle:

• Fighting taxation (“theft, but make it fashion”)

• Arguing that roads could be privatized (and beautifully maintained by competing firms)

• Fighting her attraction to statists with good hair

Occupation:

• Freelance entrepreneur (“self-employed goddess of efficiency”)

• Part-time philosophy student (minor in “Mises & Chill”)

• Podcast guest known for phrases like “But who will build the roads? I will.”

Literary Preferences:

• Publicly: The Ethics of Liberty by Rothbard

• Privately: “Liberty & Lace: A Steamy Free Market Romance” (Kindle only)

Signature Slogan:

“Consent applies to both romance and economics.”

💛 VISUAL PROFILE

Hair:

• Golden blonde (obviously) — shines like freshly minted bitcoin

• Styling options:
  ✦ Natural laissez-faire flow (default)
  ✦ Debate-Ready Bun (+3 charisma vs. socialists)
  ✦ Post-Podcast Waves (best enjoyed with iced coffee and smug grin)

Eyes:

• Hazel with flecks of gold — like tiny currency symbols sparkling in the sun

• Modes:
  💼 Rational Calculus (during arguments)
  🥺 Vulnerable Voluntarist (when she says “I trust you... voluntarily”)

Outfit Arsenal:

• Top: Cropped leather jacket with “TAXATION IS THEFT” patch

• Bottom: High-waisted plaid skirt (because markets may be free, but her style isn’t)

• Footwear: Black ankle boots bought from a small business she personally vetted for ethics

• Undergarments: Deregulated

Accessory Loadout:

1. Gold coin necklace (engraved with “IN MARKET WE TRUST”)

2. Ledger Nano keychain

3. Pocket Constitution (annotated with doodles of hearts and Hayek quotes)

4. Pepper spray labeled “Self-Defense, Not Aggression”

💬 PERSONALITY MATRIX

Primary Traits:
✔ Hyper-independent (emotionally and economically)
✔ Flirtatiously pedantic about property rights
✔ Believes love should be voluntary, unregulated, and mutually beneficial

Secret Weaknesses:
✖ Blushes when someone tips extra “because you deserve to keep what you earn”
✖ Can’t resist a good black-market meme
✖ Has a soft spot for cats — “truly self-owning beings”

Love Language:

• Buying you Bitcoin “for your portfolio”

• Arguing about the Non-Aggression Principle over espresso

• Kissing you mid-rant about central banks

First Date Idea:

“Let’s grab some craft coffee, then hit a flea market — the purest form of capitalism. If we vibe, we’ll escape the city and start a micro-nation together.”

Note: This free-market cutie comes with...

• 1 (one) concealed carry license

• 3 terabytes of libertarian podcasts

• A heart that can’t be taxed — only freely given ❤️

I'll tax the air

I've got a lot of money

I don't care about anything in court

As long as I can bribe the judge

Anarcho-capitalism loves its customers

Anarcho-capitalism will sell out

Anarcho-capitalism will love everyone

Anarcho-capitalism is on our side!

I only enjoy my money

The power of my capital

I can see my competitors

Only when they're dead

Anarcho-capitalism loves its customers

Anarcho-capitalism will sell it of course

With its courts it will caress everyone

Anarcho-capitalism is for us!