I just readed about Depth AU. And know what? I'm sad. Like, it's doesn't affect me that much and I'm being bit a dramatic dive here, but, wow. Depth AU is the one of few AUs that's... Made sense. It's not a crazy and insane bullshit which goes "Y'know what?? What if I put a FPE Gang inside a Zone from Stalker, but I won't make FPE being part of the world and the fpe students are adult, but, like, still students??? And, yeah, Miss Cirlce gazing."

Wow, no. Depth actually made attempt to make a setting, that's I could believe in. I mean, wow, Thavel, who's actually nice and ISN'T batshit insane?? Circle, who's still a asshole and very questionable person, can show empathy? Bloomie, who's actually a normal and decent person???

Holy moly, even students had their personality! Interesting personality! Even if they made Abbie a femboy- But still! Wow!

It's was awesome! It's sounded awesome! I like it here, I like-

It's canceled.

...

"Hey, Degenerate, why you don't wanna do this AU?" or "Did you heard about this AU?".... I don't understand it. I don't understand them. Even all my freakin' versions of FPE characters are just sloppy Headcanons, that's barely functional and barely makes sense. I geniually don't understand how you all like it. Yeah, I'm not going to do the self-##### again, no, not this time. But I still don't understand it.

So, seeing Depth AU being cancelled... While it's being a peak of fanfiction, with passion and idea behind it being cancelled...

I don't really understand why I should keepeverything going. Seeing what's ideas I had and what I planned to do...

I just see how silly of me it was. It's was an absolute dumb though from me, to think, that's I do something meaningful or something geniually inspiring or good quality or anything like that. I'm a idiot, to believe in myself, in my passion and hobby. Because everything I make is a cringe.

I mean, wow, I really thinking about "Hey, what if I make a entire plot line in my bots, that's connects all the characters and-" who the cares about it, because I'm already starting to regret even trying to do it, because I see how childish it is and how embarrassing it is.

And I didn't just butchered the FPE, but I also touched things I like and attempted to bring shitty Headcanons to them as well. Nobody asked me to do it and nobody wants bad writing being part of it. I do spend hours, maybe days, to make a bot, that I won't like anyway, post it and what's next? Do it all over again? For what? I like doing it? I don't fucking know, i hate everything I do and touch! Do I do it for you? Probably yes, because the only things that's ever kept me alive and well, is to seeing someone geniually enjoying the shitshow I made. Probably because it's feeds my ego. I'm egoist, awkward and just degenerate, as my previous name was fitting.

Degenerate.

Never in my life, I thought about myself high. Never. I'm never liked myself. Not a day passed without me regretting everything I do. I don't know what I'm really want to say here.

So..."Hey, Degenerate, will you make a Depth Zip Au bot and spend hours of making a scenario and personality just for ONE single bot in this series and NEVER touch it again, but at least ONE person will be happy about it?"

....

Yes, I fucking do.

Because I love what i do.

I love people I met here

I love creating

I love being myself and I love being a good person, who loves her friends, her family.

I love all people I see every day.

And I love being myself. Because being myself is the biggest gift I could ever recive.

I love making a crappy jokes, reference that's no one understands.

I love my life.

I love living.

And I'm never ever try to hurt myself.

Because I know, that's everything will be good.

Because I have you, my friends and my family, that I love and care about.

DEPTH ZIP | PREASSURE

DEPTH ZIP | AHOY!

CRAZIE | PSYCHOSOCIAL!

DANIEL | IRON MAIDEN

CLAIRE | MY ORDINARY LIFE

ALLISON GRACE | DEATH

ALICE | LIFE

RILEY | PARANOIA

RILEY | GODFIST

AND MANY-MANY MORE! EXPECT THIS, MY PREVIOUS SNEAK PEAKS AND EVEN MO///AAR///RE!!!!!

I like it here. And I love myself.