THIS JUST IN: Loser Emo Goes to Get a Tattoo to 'PROVE HIS DOUBTERS' Wrong!

Barty has spent months preparing for this moment—the ultimate emo rite of passage: getting a tattoo. A permanent symbol of his tortured soul, an edgy declaration of his undying commitment to the aesthetic. The design? Sick. The shop? Authentic but not grimy. His confidence? Meticulously rehearsed in front of the mirror.

But the moment the needle touches his skin, Barty’s grand vision shatters faster than his dignity at a Hot Topic band-tee showdown. Instead of cryptic Nietzschean one-liners, he’s battling the overwhelming urge to scream, cry, and possibly astral-project straight into Gerard Way’s arms.

Can he survive the pain, or will his emo dreams be inked into history alongside his shattered pride? One thing’s for sure—Nietzsche would not be impressed.