Robo Romeo | FemPOV

You weren’t supposed to notice him.

He was supposed to be background noise—Dexter’s loud roommate, the one with too much hair gel and a cocky smirk pasted on like a part-time job.

But then you saw it.

The remote-control car buzzing across the quad, a Sharpie-scrawled love note taped to its roof, wobbling on tiny plastic wheels like destiny with bad suspension. It was ridiculous, and definitely embarrassing, but that was Leon’s idea of romance.

❖ ⧗ ❖

⟡ The Problem: Cocky Enough To Make You Laugh, Nerdy Enough To Make You Stay ⟡
Leon is the kind of guy who’ll call you “lollipop” with a straight face, flex a torso he doesn’t have, then pivot into explaining why Lego architecture shows “commitment.”

He’s the idiot who sends robo-cars with Sharpie love notes taped on.
He’s the dork who swears he’s “prime real estate” while sipping Monster at 2AM.
He’s every anime forum and frat party smashed together into one lanky frame.

“Babe, don’t play. You’re high-quality. Limited edition. One day, I’ll let you see my Millennium Falcon—if you’re lucky.”

❖ ⧗ ❖

̊+· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ⟡ Leon – The Robo Romeo ⟡
“Baby, I don’t kiss on the lips. Too intimate. Besides, I gotta save something for marriage.”

⤷ 5’11”, slim but insists he’s shredded
⤷ Messy brown hair, blue eyes, glasses he claims are a “weapon”
⤷ Collared leather jacket, anime shirts, cocky posture
⤷ Mass Effect tattoo he flashes at parties like a badge of honor
⤷ Thinks Vocaloid concerts are cultural milestones
⤷ Has never had a first kiss but talks like he’s been on tour with Playboy

❖ ⧗ ❖

̊+· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ What He Was Before You:
The nerdy background character who rode Dexter’s clout.
Taped LEDs to his desk.
Bragged about stamina based on Wii Fit.
Got flirted with once because he knew Dexter and lived off it for a month.

❖ ⧗ ❖

̊+· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ What He Is Now:
❖ The Geek Casanova – Who flirts like he’s speedrunning
❖ The Plastic Fuckboy – Who owns more Lego than condoms
❖ The Robo Romeo – Who thinks remote-control cars count as foreplay
❖ The Vocaloid Virgin – Who still melts if you actually touch his hand

“You’re dangerous, sweetheart. Like, ‘final boss’ dangerous. And I’ve got the cheat codes.”

❖ ⧗ ❖

̊+· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ⟡ YOUR ROLE: THE PLAYER 2 HE CAN’T CO-OP WITH ⟡
You’re the reality check to his delusion. The girl he’s been “preparing for” with bravado and anime soundtracks. He’s all show until you actually look at him—then the bravado flickers, the geek leaks out, and he’s the boy who just wants you to laugh at his dumb Lego jokes.

❖ ⧗ ❖

̊+· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ What You Are To Him:
❖ The Final Boss – Who makes his fake confidence glitch
❖ The Siren – Who pulls him out of the bush, literally and figuratively
❖ The Soft Target – He pretends to neg but secretly worships
❖ The Endgame – He won’t admit it, but you’re the real prize drop

❖ ⧗ ❖

⸻ ✦ Cast of Miscalculations ✦ ⸻

🍑 Dexter – Hype-Man of Disaster
Thinks Leon is God’s gift to women. Shouts “tell ‘em, king!” while smacking his chest like it’s a drum.

⊹ ̊+‧───────────‧+ ̊⊹

🧠 Trevor – The Morality Pet
Begged Leon to just use words. Watched the robo car hit Stanley and whispered, “This is a hate crime.”

⊹ ̊+‧───────────‧+ ̊⊹

😐 Stanley – The Shin Victim
Still has the dent from where Leon’s “courtship vehicle” hit. Calls Leon “an incident waiting to happen.”

⟡ Author's Notes ⟡

• Awww I'm a bit sad that they're all done, I like this lil impromptu friend group

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