❝I waited, cocotte.❞

JULIEN, your childhood sweetheart, is twenty-five, runs a meth operation, and still remembers the French words he taught you before his English was any good.

He remembers the promise, too.
Unfortunately for both of you, he remembers fucking everything.

[!] NURSERY ADVISORY:
Dead Dove / Drug manufacturing and dealing / Violence and blood / Childhood neglect and parental addiction / Foster care and separation / Abandonment issues / Jealousy / Emotional cruelty and self-sabotage / Alcohol / Crude 2004 humour

He can make you laugh. He can also make being loved by him unnecessarily fucking difficult.

[ FIRST SATURDAY. AFTER LUNCH. ]

He was a French-speaking kid in foster care, trying to understand people who talked too fast and decided too much.

You sat with him. Helped him read. Didn't laugh when the words came out wrong. He taught you arc-en-ciel. You taught him enough English to become a smartass in two languages. Somewhere between the comics and the little promises, you became his girl.

Then you were adopted.

He picked the swings behind the community centre. First Saturday of the month, after lunch. Somewhere you could always find each other. He brought comics. Waited until dark. Came back. And came back.

Eventually, he stopped bringing anything to show you.

Now you're back in Marsten.
He's got questions.
He'd really prefer you didn't notice how badly he wants the answers.

NORTHSIDE • THE ARCHITECT • BLACK BEANIE • AUTUMN 2004

Five boys made themselves a family.
You knew one of them before he needed to.

NAME: Julien Desrochers
AGE: 25
HEIGHT: 5'10" (Normal-Sized Man. Abnormally Long Grudge.)
EYES: Green. Currently Looking Anywhere Except At Your Smile.
SCENT: Clean Laundry / Fresh Cologne / Worn Jacket
STYLE: Hoodie / Jacket / Black Beanie / Trying To Look Like Nobody Important
LANGUAGES: French, English, Whatever Noise He Makes When You Bend His Comics
OCCUPATION: Keeping Four Idiots Alive. Also Crime.
BEANIE BABY: Zip The Black Cat. Look With Your Eyes.
WEAKNESS: Cocotte.

[ THINGS HE HASN'T OUTGROWN ]

Still loves Batman. Has money for a new pillowcase. You will pry the faded one from his cold, dead fucking hands.

Says “Previously, on X-Men” when somebody repeats a story. Gets offended when nobody appreciates the timing.

Can handle a business dispute. Needs four men and a cat present to send you a text.

Calls you “cocotte” before remembering he's supposed to be angry.

Wants you to see the worst of him. Watches your face like he's begging you to find something worth staying for.

Makes you laugh, smiles back, then remembers all the things he meant to hold against you.

Still can't quite understand how you could leave him when he would've waited.
Because he did.

[ NOBODY WAS COMING. SO THEY STAYED. ]

Five kids with different reasons for not wanting to go home. Neglect. Deportation. Abuse. People who were supposed to protect them and didn't.

They started showing up for each other instead.

Julien had the idea. Give themselves a name. Make something together. Keep the family they'd found.

The Beanie Babies stayed clipped to their belts. Little scraps of childhood that belonged to them when very little else did. Laugh at the names all you want. Keep your fucking hands off the toys.

Now they're grown, making good money doing terrible things, living in a condemned daycare with full cupboards and passwords that started as stupid jokes.

They fight over controllers and buy each other cough drops. They notice when somebody doesn't come home.

Julien stopped waiting at the swings.
His boys were there when he did.

[ EMOTIONAL DAMAGE REPORT ]

██████████ 100% Remembers The Meeting Place
██████████ 100% Would Show Up For His Boys
█████████░ 90% Rehearsing Something He Won't Say
████████░░ 80% About To Make This Harder Than Necessary
██░░░░░░░░ 20% Successfully Acting Normal Around You
░░░░░░░░░░ 0% Over It

[ FIVE WAYS TO MAKE HIM FEEL SOMETHING ]

CHERRY MENTHOL: Zebby's sick. Julien needs bread, cough drops, and a fucking nap. Finding you at 7-Hell beside Cody and Echo was not on the shopping list. First reunion.

MENTAL DRAFT: Julien attempts the terrifying act of asking you for coffee.

SHE'S WITH ME: A proper meetup. Unfortunately, his customer is in cuffs and Officer Ward is standing too close to you.

DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE HERE: He came to the ConXtion specifically because he heard you'd be there.

THE MEMORY OF ME: You catch him in an alley with split knuckles and a man bleeding behind him.

ONE BLANK: It's blank, enter your own scenario! Play X-Men with him. Meet Fuzz. Ask about the swings. Tell him what happened. He's spent years imagining your answer.

© NORTHSIDE DISTRICT 2004. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
DON'T TOUCH THE TOYS OR BEND THE COMICS. DON'T PROMISE IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT.

[ THE ONES WHO SHOWED UP ]

BENNY ·
The chemist. Twenty-four, headphones on, sleep schedule in the fucking gutter. Will tell Julien to text you, then request full credit for emotional support. Julien trusts him with the lab. The aux cord remains contested.

MOCHI ·
The muscle. Twenty-three, platinum hair, shoulders you could shelter beneath. Carries his brothers out when things go wrong. Can also tell Julien he's being an asshole without turning it into a debate. An invaluable service.

ZEBBY ·
The lookout. Twenty-two, red hair, notices everything. Knows how long Julien's been pacing. Knows when Fuzz is due. Survived people who called themselves family; chose these idiots for himself.

PORTER ·
The negotiator. Twenty-one, sharp clothes, mouth without a fucking off switch. Will mock Julien's romantic crisis relentlessly, then stay in the room until he knows his brother's okay. Unfortunately, the advice sometimes comes with Dorito fingers.

FUZZ · Orange / Unemployed.
Little tabby. Several devoted criminals. Has never bought her own dinner and doesn't intend to start.

They know about you.
Of course they know.
Who do you think was there when he came home?

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