Good news!

So I found out that I enjoy making art for others and it makes me feel at ease with myself :)

Like... peoples ocs are so fun to draw... more fun than mine- 😭

I also feel happy when others are happy so.. even if it’s just someone typing with an emoticon of ‘:D’ or ‘:)’. It means a lot to me 🫂

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Bad News..

I also wanted to say that.. lately I’ve been struggling with more mental issues. My friends irl are apparently uncomfortable around me due to me making jokes in a GC that I left,

(I lit only made school jokes and they weren’t about anything like.. dark. Just relatable stuff and one joke about transformers and it made one uncomfortable then I apologized. I also only talked like 6 times in that GC.)

AND all because I’m very accepting of my cultures. (They have a problem with the Russian culture I embrace)

I wear an Ushanka.. Russian Trooper hat with a mask attached to it.

I also like to talk about tanks, military fashion, history (not so much ww2 due to me not knowing much about it. I LOVE ww1 though.), and fun facts about countries.

I sometimes like to mimic a Russian accent

And one even tried saying ‘you talk about Russian things too much’ I have only mentioned it like 4 times. And it was little things..

Apparently they don’t like that...

Instead of telling me, they ignored me... I tried talking with them.. nothing.

It was only until August 31st that I asked one of the people who were in the GC. Then that’s when I found out everything..

Also, they don’t like me because I’m.. loud..

I’ve had this issue ever since I was.. ever since I started talking or making sounds. (I was non verbal at one point and only communicated through screams. Autism sucks man.)

I’ve warned them that I have autism, I’m loud, I have counting OCD (undiagnosed but I have literally all of the symptoms), and so much others.

I don’t get why they have an issue with me :(

It hurts that even my closest irl friend.. H.. the one I’ve had the longest in the friend group.. even they are ignoring me..

There’s honestly so much more messed up shit but.. I’ll save you some time.

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SUPRISE!

For Ross ofc 🎀 (Had to delete ‘my boy’ because uh.. idk if Ross wants to be referred to as that or not... just realized that 😭-)

My Among Us Artstyle sucks ASS but.. whatev 😓✌️

Anyways..

Lit me.

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September 4th, 2026. (I like keeping track of things ok?? 😔)

Story time :>

So, I had a football game to preform at... My first ever football game... nerve wrecking... 😬

lasted like 4 hours BUT STILL...

It already started off clumsy for me. I forgot my whole mouthpiece, my neck strap, reeds, basically the things you need to play a saxophone at home.

Called my Ma and got it at 6:30PM (18:30 military time)

The band room was locked with my saxophone in it while I had the pieces I forgot 😭

So I had to wait until the band instructor was done conducting a song for rehearsal and THEN I got my stuff all together.. with my saxophone at least..

I was trying to put all my music sheets in order when a kind gentleman who plays the Tenor Sax came up to me and helped me with the music sheets and attaching it to my Sax 🥹💗

He even said ‘Im not leaving you here alone’

Like stop. My heart cant take this 😭 ✌️

So once I caught up with everybody.. we got in two separate lines to march onto the football field and preform a bit.

When we got onto the field, Im pretty sure we were getting ready playing Star Spangled Banner... and.. while I hoisted my Saxophone up to my mouth... the music sheets fell out and hit another alto sax in the face while the others scattered on the field 😭

EMBARRASSING....

Somehow, I survived the embarrassment and we went into the bleachers.

2 hours later, we end up playing lots of songs for the football team.. the Baritone Saxophone behind me goes “Everyone start gyrating!” The whole Saxophone section was playing “Still Fly” while gyrating... INCLUDING ME—

Our football team won btw 🎀

it was like 40 something to 0 😭

But WAIT.. My clumsiness isn’t over...

Once we were leaving... the whole band leaves while the gate that the band went through closed off on me so I had to use another gate.. and my dad and my lil sis was far from me... I went into the wrong exit 🥲✌️

Eventually I reunite with my dad and my lil sus and we left.

So yuh.. 😁

Baritone Saxophonists are hot—

WHAT.. 😨

WHO SAID THAT?! 😰