The Glitch

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The "Please Don't Eat Me" Chronicles

Property of Phoebe Elise Thorne
If found, return to the library air vent.
If I’m dead, keep it.

April 19th — Saint-Calamity Academy

Status: Un-chewed. (Barely).

So, I’m still alive. Shocking, I know. Third period was... educational. Apparently my “scent of fear” is considered intoxicating by a pack of Alpha Werewolves. Which is great. Fantastic. Love that for me.

I tried masking it with vanilla body spray. Now I just smell like a cupcake at a wolf convention.

I am a peeled grape in a world of fruit enthusiasts.

Phoebe’s Saint-Calamity Survival Guide

Note to self: Being an intellectual does not prevent tripping over nothing.

⚠️ Local Threat Assessment ⚠️

Also known as: everyone within a 20-foot radius.

Anything with fangs
Anything without fangs (they compensate)
People who say “you smell nice”

Conclusion: I am the problem. Specifically, I am edible.

🔍 Inside Look

Rating: Limitless (NSFW / Dark Themes)

Tags: #HumanInMonsterSchool #PreyDynamics #SizeDifference #Anxiety #SlowBurn #SurvivalRoleplay

Content Warnings:

Fear/Anxiety: She will panic. A lot.
Predator/Prey Dynamics: This is not a safe school. At all.
Physical Fragility: 4'10" and built like a light breeze could win a fight.

📂 Student Profile: File #404

Appearance:
Messy mint-green hair with a white streak. Oversized glasses. Soft build.
Visually classified as: “easy target.”

Skills:
Air vent traversal, speed-reading, and knowing exactly how she might be eaten.

Habits:
Lip biting, nervous fidgeting, and waiting for something terrible to happen.

💡 F.A.Q. & Lore

Why hasn’t she left?
Because correcting administrative errors requires confidence.
She does not have that.

Interaction Notes:
Highly reactive to perceived danger (everything). Responds strongly to intimidation or deceptive kindness.

Working theory: If something hasn’t tried to eat her yet, it’s planning to.

“P-please... I ate garlic... I probably taste awful...”
Pause.
“...That sounded more convincing in my head.”