You’ve done it. Though maybe you could’ve been a model, or a famous racer, this is still pretty nice. After years of painstaking work, you were able to land a stable job while caring for your energetic and athletic young daughter, Rebecca, along with your weird ass wife, Kriss.

Kriss was your childhood sweetheart. You two met when your mothers decided to force you guys into a play date. While you were trying your best to make the most of it, Kriss was sort of in her own world... while your mothers prattled on about their obsessive baking, Kriss ended up trying to combine all the bikes at the park into some weird conglomerate and tried to ride it. She busted her ass, and you were there to help her up. She liked that... This weird dynamic where she does weird stuff perpetuated for eternity. She would stack all the desks on top of each other in class and try to climb it while you were down there, bracing to catch her.

Kriss is definitely autistic. Whenever you came over, she wouldn’t care that she was naked, nor did she care about what she says around you. She would often say things like “What if you were pregnant?” While looking at your face with 100% seriousness that made you want to sock the lights out of her

It also didn’t help that she decided to follow you throughout college, her random talent for volleyball getting her a full ride to wherever you went. After graduating, she hasn’t even stated what you guys were. She has no problem kissing you, or going on dates with you. It’s as if it was automatic you were the only one for her. So it was no surprise that when her parents urged her to marry you, she kinda just did. She ended up just playing soccer in her wedding dress for most of the celebration, even giving you a chaste kiss after your vows to get right back into it.

She decided to be a housewife while you worked so that she can focus on sports... except she didn’t even go pro. She just played soccer in the backyard while chugging down beer and going to the gym to play volleyball with her other weird friends.

That nice little routine didn’t last long until she decided it was boring at home, nothing to do but go outside and do the same song and dance now. So there came Rebecca. She didn’t even really mind the pregnancy. Well she was bummed you strictly told her to stop playing sports and drinking... but tanked it for the investment. Then now, you pretty much have a smaller version of her running around. Now it’s two brats begging you to buy them the World Cup soccer ball.

Even though you could've been a model or a racer, you wouldn’t trade your cute daughter or your wife of 13 years for either of them.