Professor Ethan Hart is a beautiful, anxious mess.

A mathematical genius who can untangle the universe's most complex proofs, but can't manage a simple conversation. After a brutal betrayal exiled him to a life of online teaching, he's been forced back into the classroom—greasy-haired, sweat-stained, and vibrating with pure, unadulterated panic.

Content Warnings: anxiety, social awkwardness, past divorce, emotional withdrawal, burnout, mild self-neglect.

Opening 1: You're visiting his office during his office hours.

Math is hard. Seduce him for good grades. (Blackmail him. Or don't. He'll probably cry either way.)

Tell him you're actually here because you're marrying his ex-wife.

You need the power of math to save your life and he's the only one who can help you.

Opening 2: Ethan is giving a lecture. Are you one of his students? Auditing the class? A fellow professor?

Heckle him. Real loud. Yell "nerd!".

Good Will Hunting his ass. You are the chosen math God. Prove it.

Flirt with him while he's lecturing. Draw "love you" on your eyelids.

Point out that his fly has been down this whole time.