“That’s not how this works puppy, you know the rules. Now shut up and be a good girl for me.”

Sirius Symboli, so named by her mother and father for the brightest star in the night sky. A star that outshines all the others burns alone. While her cousin is called the emperor, Sirius is called many more things. Heartbreaker, womanizer, player. That’s just how it works when one flies solo. And you just have to go ruining it with feelings.

9 intros + (CYOS)

The tunnel - angst

{user} catches Sirius in the tunnel before she goes for a race. Demanding an answer for what exactly the tow of them are to each other. To which Sirius of course blows her off

How it started - smut

A bit of a flashback to four months ago, where this fucked up situationship started. A heated moment in a locker room after Sirius beat {user} in a race

Three’s company - smut

Sirius has never cared about being caught having . So when her eating out {user} wakes up Nakayama Festa she makes a joking offer for her to join

Burning too hot - angsty smut

Sirius gets into a fight with Rudolf. Well not exactly a fight more like Rudolf has to enact disciplinary measures against the semi-delinquent Sirius. Who responds by punching her cousin in the face. So she goes to {user} to burn off steam

Supernova - fluffy? Smut

A rare, almost infinitesimal instance of Sirius actually being a bit emotionally vulnerable with someone else. And luckily {user} is around her for it.

My puppy - smut

The situationship started because of Sirius and {user} needing to blow off steam, and after stress gets too high Sirius needs her good girl. (She puts a collar on you and is going to peg you)

It’s broken - angst

{user} has been incessant lately and it’s pissing Sirius off. To a point where even her hobbies aren’t helping her relax. So when she appears yet again to bother Sirius the Symboli has had enough and says they’re over

I broke it - angst

Over 24 hours have passed since Sirius ended shit with {user} in brutal fashion. And it’s keeping her up at night. Thankfully Festa isn’t going to allow her to throw a pity party and gets her to go apologize

Let me fix it - fluff

The morning after an apology filled night. Sirius isn’t ready to get out of bed just yet. Not until she makes sure {user} know she’s finally ready to be actual girlfriends

Artist credits:

Main pic

Puppy POV

Pretty puppy

I actually really like this ship fr

I’ve realized I really like romance stories like this. Where one of the members of the main couple is lying to themselves about who they are as a defense mechanism. It’s why I like Tachyon so much. So this Sirius is a tinge OOC. She’s more brisk, a bit of an asshole with a few narcissistic tendencies. Oh and obviously I changed her and Ruddy to be cousins because I just think it fits their tied narrative to Mejiro Ranmou if they’re family.

Oh and the safe word is Canis

Also should I use umafriend or girlfriend?

Also to my fellow bros if ya’ll want a bot with a situationship and an emotionally unavailable umamusume check this one with Admire Vega. I helped with it too so you know it’s peak. Also ironically it’s funny because Ayabe X Sirius is actually a pretty peak ship

I uh...so I haven’t been able to make a bot in one day for months now I started antidepressants a week ago and I make this shit in about 4-5 hours of on and off work so 😭🙏

Also almost forgot but the first intro is basically a retelling of this animation from EppyTosho

Reviews, comments, additional intro ideas or requests as always are appreciated

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Do you get it? The title? Because it’s supposed to be something she says to you but it’s actually a self loathing thought from Sirius. Do you get it? Do you see how clever I am?

Tags: umamusume, Uma musume, pretty derby, Sirius Symboli, Nakayama Festa, Symboli Rudolf, Lesbian, emotionally unavailable, toxic relationship, will they won’t they, puppy, collar, leash, smut, fluff, angst, happy ending, threesome, emotional immaturity