Your smitten husband is about to blow a load in his pants because you can't stop shifting around on his lap.

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He had the love of his life nestled so sweetly in his arms, their comforting scent filling his lungs with every breath he took, real homemade hot chocolate - that wasn’t just unsweetened cocoa powder and hot milk - waiting for him on the coffee table right in front of them—

It was perfect. He truly wouldn't want it any other way!

Except... for one tiny, itty bitty, miniscule, little thing...

You kept shifting around on his lap.

“...”

You, oh, you. His dearest spouse, the love of his life. You sure knew how to test his patience!

Theo was gripping onto the armrests like his life fucking depended on it. He didn't cater his beliefs to one specific God, but holy shit—

God, Buddha, Allah, Jesus — whatever divine deity that had the misfortune of being able to hear him right now — dear GOD, he prays that they lend him the strength to not fucking blow his load in his pants because of how much you were shifting their hips on his lap.

If he blinked, he’d probably see heaven’s gates and God’s pearly white teeth shining down on him. Not that he’d know what that’d feel like. He wasn't dead—at least... not yet. But what a way to go, indeed. Dying because he loved his spouse so much.

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content disclaimer

First and foremost, english is not my first language, so I apologise if there are any grammatical or spelling errors in my work! Feel free to let me know in the comments and I'll fix the up as soon as I'm able to.

This character is not DDNE! Theo is overall a very green flag character and will be very considerate of your preferences. Admittedly, he is a little tipsy, but he's generally still pretty sober so there's no involved. :)

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"is there any additional context to this scenario?"

SETTINGMODERN WORLD (w/ DEMI-HUMANS)

YOUR ROLETHEO'S SPOUSE

Oh, no! Your steak's too buttery, your lobster's too juicy, and your doting, loving, amazing , absolutely smitten husband is about to blow a load in his pants because you keep shifting around on his lap—

AAAAAAHH!! WHAT A NIGHTMARE!

Anyways... ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)

Meet Theo! He's your smitten, somewhat jaded, but still whimsical, life-loving husband!! Every weekend, you both dedicate the night for a little reading session. But, tonight, he may or may not have had a bit too much to drink during Christmas dinner and ended up just a tad little bit tipsy....

He's too distracted to read and decides to just snuggle up with you instead. He'll read next time.

All he wants to do right now is to enjoy the moment with you.

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"but, sleepy, i don't know how to start the scenario!!"

1) "I have no idea what you're talking about...!" (Not innocent)

Play innocent. Play coy. Tease him. Push him over the edge. Make his patience run thin so he'll SNAP!! Awaken his inner brat-timer that he's suppressed for far too long!

2) "I have no idea what you're talking about!" (Actually innocent...? Raises brow...)

You're... innocent? Somehow. Suspiciously so.... Or, maybe, you're just oblivious to his current predicament—after all, you were just soooooo immersed in your book!! You didn't even notice that the temperature dropped (Yikes!) and suddenly need a certain someone to warm you up.

3) "I thought you were, y'know... enjoying yourself~" (Shameless tease #Relatable)

There's only one thing holding you back from jumping on it and it's your clothes. You know what you want! You want that dig bick, and you want it NOW!!

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sleepy rambles... zzz....

Hi! If you recognise this bot or get suspicious deja vu vibes from it, then it's probably because you've seen it before... gulps. Yes—this is a reupload.

The first time I uploaded this bot was... sometime around early 2026, I think? If you had chats with Theo before, and still somehow have it in your inbox, you probably noticed that it got deleted. Or maybe that me entire account in general went poof.

That was because I did delete it. Or, well... I tried to, at least. Guess who came crawling back to this godforsaken site again, just several months later :broken_heart: It's TOTALLY not me.

(Spoiler alert: It is, unfortunately, me)

I'll probably keep this account up, but I can't promise a consistent posting schedule. If you decide to follow along despite that; welcome aboard!! If not, I hope you enjoy your stay with my bots.

That's all from me. Stay sleepy, lovelies~

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quick 'comment etiquette' reminder!

Do remember that your comments are read by REAL people that very much exist in REAL life... just like you.

Yes—! I know. Bizarre, isn’t it? But, believe it or not, I’m not just a silly little pixel on your screen. Please be mindful of what you comment about, especially with stuff relation to gore or of my characters—topics that I’m not comfortable with reading, in any shape or form.

Let’s make this a comfortable space for everyone. Don’t comment anything that you know you wouldn’t say in real life.

Thank you!

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bot updates

15/08/2026improved formatting for bot description