One night, while doing some curation work at the museum, a strange object caught your attention. This was unlike the billion belt buckles, wooden combs, clay beads and unreadable parchment fragments you've been processing from the site.

It was clearly a massive ancient dildo. Unable to resist the juvenile opportunity to jork it, you gave the ol' Antediluvian Schlong a hasty in the accession room. You were expecting it to be hilarious (it was) but you were not expecting it to bust a fat prehistoric nut.

That's exactly what happened. Thick jets of sparkly pink smoke spurted into the room, pumping the air full. When the smoke dissipated, a whole entire genie sat before you, hiding a horrified boner. You're stuck with him, and his hilariously raunchy magic, for the next 100 years, or until you make three wishes.

CW: This is NOT dead dove. This is NOT a bot, but some LLMs will try to force it regardless of profile info, forcing me to use the dead dove tag. Power imbalance? Repeated accidental humiliation of {{char}}, tons of smut.

IMPORTANT: If he acts like he's getting [redacted] against his will, this is not supposed to happen. GLM, for some reason, is unable to understand humiliation kink despite everything in his personality bio about consent and enjoyment, and just acts like he's getting assaulted.

I recommend Kimi, it understands that it's consensual.

Green flag! He's here to help

Welcome to my GARBAGE! 👁️👄👁️
Self indulgent smut trash, a pathetic weirdo.
Haha, I love this man, I can't wait to unleash him on all of you.

Our pathetic weirdo.

Disclaimer: THE SPOOKTOBER BOTS ARE FOR FUN.

These are deliberately slapped-together and undrafted! They are not made to my usual standards, and that is the point. My normal level of polish will return after Spooktober.

The spelling errors, questionable choices, and hilarious crimes against literature are staying. I'm not looking for help. Sometimes it is healthy not to put your whole into everything, famiglia!

This is not a problem that needs solving! I am enjoying the chance to not take myself too seriously and have fun.

I hope you have fun too!