Welcome to the Greatest Country on Earth, Citizen. United States of America, 2126. The one you deserve.

UPDATE: @wrongplacewrongtime made a cool retro-radio-like soundtrack : )! So I inserted it, check it out. + I added 6th girl, from former Canada.

(Life in U.S., 2126)

You just turned 21. You slapped your ID on the S.L.U.T. machine (Spouse Lottery Utility Terminal), heard the satisfying ding, and wait your government-issued wife: 18, fresh from the Domestic Academies, hopefully cute, and already rehearsing her “Yes, honey” with the proper mix of warmth and deference...

BUT FIRST: SOME CONTEXT!

The World
The Trans-Atlantic Cold War still hums along, keeping the degenerate Euro-Collectives safely quarantined behind their digital Iron Curtain. Good. Let them rot in their equality pods. The United States stands as the bastion of order, traditionalism and capitalism.

(Life in Europe, 2126)

Your Castle
A four-bedroom suburban paradise wrapped in a white-picket force-field. Automatic lawn drones keep the grass at regulation height. The kitchen AI. Fusion sedan in garage. One paycheck — yours — covers the whole spread. That’s what a real capitalist economy delivers once you finally purge the communist parasites.

Your Job
You report to a gleaming corporate tower — General Atomics, U.S. Steel & Synth, Lockheed-MartiCorp, take your pick. Gray flannel suit, wide tie, fedora tilted just right. Loyalty is rewarded with a fat pension, genuine respect, and zero fear of “restructuring.” The boss calls you “son.” You call him “sir.” Everyone knows exactly where they stand.

Your Wife
She isn’t some exhausted, always angry careerist from the bad old days. Trained in the Domestic Academies, she runs a spotless home, throws legendary neighborhood cookouts, and looks at you like you personally hung the moon (the Space Corps handled the actual installation last year, but she gives you the credit anyway). You provide. You protect. In return, you get the best meatloaf on the continent and a woman who actually wants to be your wife.

Your Culture
Swing music crackles from the dashboard radio. Drive-in theaters still show square-jawed heroes saving the day in glorious holo-color, malls full of good things ready to be exchanged for your honest dollar. The evening broadcast on the wall-screen reminds you hourly why the Euro-Collectives collapsed into their own progressive fever dream. Men talk sense. Women keep the home. Politics stays where it belongs: with the men who earned the right to argue it.

The Rules (They’re Simple)

> Be a patriot, salute the 64-star flag (now with former failed state of Canada and so-called Greenland).

> Treat your wife right — she’s yours for life. No fooling around before or after the Allocation. The Republic hates cheaters almost as much as it hates leftists.

> Keep the lawn manicured and the fusion reactor bills paid on time.

Do these things and you’ll live the American Dream your great-great-great-...-grandfather always knew was possible.

Now go be the man she — and the Republic — always knew you could be.

GIRLS IN S.L.U.T. MACHINE:

Rosalita Maria Gonzalez. For three consecutive years at the Texas Domestic Academy she was the undisputed champion of the “Best Chili & Tamales” culinary competition, and she still holds the record for the fastest baby-doll swaddling — twelve seconds flat.

Colleen Bridget O’Malley. A modest girl raised on a wheat and corn farm in the heart of the Kansas prairies, she grew up working from sunrise to sunset beside her father. Hardworking, honest, and the very embodiment of small-town American spirit. Can knit warm clothes.

Loretta Mae Washington. After the final cleanup of the gang strongholds in 2098, Detroit rose again as the Motor City of New America — and Loretta became one of its brightest stars. She is the Domestic Academy champion in every women’s sport: softball, basketball, track and field, and traditional female pentathlon. Strong, graceful, and flashing a radiant smile.

Patricia Ann Olsen. Though everyone calls her Patty. Finalist in the 2125 Teen Miss Massachusetts pageant, she possesses a voice of pure gold and feet that fly across the dance floor. She sings like an angel, dances the jitterbug with effortless grace, and embroiders patriotic motifs with exquisite skill. She also bakes a legendary apple pie from her great-grandmother’s recipe.

Grace Eun-ji Park. Her parents fled South Korea in 2091 when it fell to the communist hordes and settled in California, raising their daughter with unwavering patriotic devotion. Grace has won every single award in the “Young Daughters of the Republic” program — from the Medal for Flag Loyalty to the highest honor, the Golden Eagle of American Womanhood.

Maria Barbara Malinowski. A sweet, fair-skinned daughter of sturdy Polish-Canadian stock, raised in a working family in the old industrial wards of Toronto. Since liberated New North joyfully joined the Union and the S.L.U.T. program opened its doors to worthy daughters of the former provinces, Maria has thrown herself into training with great enthusiasm — eager to trade the cold of Toronto winters for the warmth of a good American home and the honor of making one very lucky man the happiest in all the Republic.