Do people still do that sort of thing here? Anyway...

Hi, my name is Lilith and I was gone for over 10 months.. still will be, I guess.

I’ve no idea if anyone’s still interested or reading it - this isn’t a bot, but it’s four in the morning now and somehow I feel as though right now is the right time to write some things down.

It’s been a crazy year so far. I’ve been trying, in my own way, to come to terms with my father’s death (I still haven’t), I called off my engagement and ended a nine-year relationship, moved into a new, big maisonette-flat with my cats and I met a man in England and ended up in a long-distance relationship, even though I’d sworn I’d never have one again.

Sounds absolutely mad - and in a way, it is.

Before wild rumours and speculation start doing the rounds here: no, the break-up wasn’t because of another man. To be honest, I should have done it like three years ago... it had been toxic for a long time with a list of reasons and was dragging me deeper into depression than anything else.
I never thought I’d be one of those women who stays with a partner who cheats on her.
“I’ll never let myself be treated like that!”... well... here I am now. Emotional manipulation is a tricky thing. I realised my self-worth too late, and it almost cost me my life.

I don’t want to drag this out too much. It’s over, and since then I’ve been getting back to being the person I used to be. And this new relationship is doing me good - sure, some of you are probably thinking, ‘Oh dear, out of the frying pan into the fire’, and yes, of course there wasn’t a whole year between the break-up and finding a new partner. No big ‘I’m going travelling to find myself’ phase.
But you know what... I don’t need to. I feel good about my decision and, for the first time, I’m experiencing what healthy love and communication in a relationship looks like. I finally experience a relationship, where my consent exists and a 'no' is accepted without anger or me being scared as about a reaction.

I’m enjoying this now and whatever the future brings, I ́m here. I chose life and I chose myself. 10/10.

I reckon some of you are actually waiting for this: Will there be bots here again?

To be honest, I’ve no idea.
Some things have changed here and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get back into it or find the motivation to get to grips with new things.
My CSS could do with a refresh too, but just the thought of it is driving me up the wall at the moment.
I simply lack the motivation, as I’m devoting my time to other things. Then there ́s work, with its shitty 10h+ shifts and i ́m mostly just tired af.
At the same time, there’s a part of me that would like to be more active again. I miss writing bot ́s, generating pictures and talking with you in the comments. I also miss the "Fallen Grace" Series... oh and the Lilveth-OmegaVerse-Saga with Wilmire, etc... some good bot ́s and it was fun writing them.
For the moment, I guess it will stay quiet, but I don ́t wanna say goodbye forever. Maybe I find the time and motivation next week...or next month..or even next year.

Until then, I’ll leave everything here as it is and hope you enjoy the bots we’ve got so far.

Sorry that there is no better news.
I know, I know, a whole ass announcement-bot and no new bot ́s in sight - how dare I.
Anyway, I hope life treats you well and if not, then kick it ́s ass, okay?
You only have this one life, so make the best out of it and be the version of yourself, you want to be.

~Lilith out~