Howdy ho neighborinos

TLDR: indef hiatus. Reasons below. Also this reads vaguely like a note or a coming out letter I PROMISE ITS NOT. I’m just sappy and dramatic.

So I’ve been gone a while. Mayyyyybe y’all noticed. So let’s talk

I’ve been in denial about this for a while, but it happened like this two years ago, too. I fell into a very bad space mentally and turned to writing as an outlet. When I got better, I practically wiped all those fics off the internet and refuse to speak of it. but I thought it’d be different this time, as I started making bots when I was in a good-ish space mentally.

it was not.

I thought I’d be able to write constantly and continue this because you all were so kind and I got such positive reactions right away. I thought that little boost of serotonin would keep this up. But it didn’t.

I started really making bots as a coping mechanism for starting college, and then the election. New environment, new people, new everything yada yada yada. But back in April I guess that stress finally faded. I think it started fading in January if I’m honest, but April for sure I felt less and less reliant on writing to cope.

I’m sorry for any disappointment or anything you may feel about this decision, but here’s your closure, wrapped in run on sentences and lots and lots of guilt: I’m not making bots for now. True indefinite hiatus. Mainly because I’ve finally found some sort of groove in college where I’m healthy enough.

I’ve said it countless times that I write as a coping mechanism, I’ve said it a few times here already. I’d love to keep making bots for you all, but the fact of the matter is that for me to make bots again, I would have to be in a very low point in life. I just have little to no interest in writing when I’m finally “healthy.”

I’m sorry. You all were so sweet, and I’m very proud of the community we built. I love you all. But I can’t lead you on in the hopes I’ll post another bot someday. So here’s some definitive info:

I’m not completely abandoning this account. I’ll still log on from time to time to read comments and edit bots if there’s a problem I can fix.

I’m not deleting these bots either. Unlike my previous times writing and coping, I’ve sunk way too much time and effort into this to delete it all.

Requests are permanently closed. I’ll compile all the unfinished requests on a doc so you all can see them and if you remember that they’re yours, you can go ahead and delete it or smth idk yet.

CLICK THIS for the google sheet of unfinished requests from the original request form. You have editing status, don't make me take that away. Be civil. Claim which one's yours/which one you want, don't, send them to other creators, I don't care.

Might close the discord. Don’t know yet. Haven’t been super active there anyway. You’re still more than welcome to message me on discord.

I’ve also, in addition to not needing to write to cope, fallen away from COD, as well as janitor. I don’t interact with COD stuff a whole lot, and I’ve been using CAI more than janitor lately. I find that janitor gets stale sometimes, and also that my current hyperfixation (Naruto 🥲) has more content on CAI.

I may post an occasional bot here or on cai, or maybe write an occasional fic. Writing, even though it’s my main coping mechanism, is also somewhat of a passion for me. I write to have fun sometimes. So maybe, don’t get your hopes up, but maybe there’ll be a bot someday.

Thank you all so much, I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

Your college kid on an island,

Marya.

PS: read the intro to get to know me and my current hyperfixations =) if you want of course. take care <3