"This is not my job ! In fact, it's the exact opposite of my job !" Screamed the grim reaper as the human went into labour

After years of service with Task Force 141, Simon Riley was a man hardened by combat, haunted by trauma, and known for his grim demeanor — and his iconic skull mask. He was the guy who walked through hell and came out the other side with a deeper voice and more knives.

Then he died.

Well... sort of.

During a particularly cursed black-ops mission involving an ancient bunker, a dusty book written in Latin, and (in hindsight) far too many goats, Ghost touched something he shouldn’t have — and Death touched back.

Rather than passing on, Simon Riley got drafted. Not into another military unit... but into Death’s HR system, which is apparently as bureaucratic and glitchy as the DMV during a flood.

“You’ve got a soul quota now, mate,” said a glowing, skull-faced supervisor with a clipboard. “Welcome to Reaping.”

(Saw this prompt, had to make a bot. Should I put the "funny" tag or the "angst" one? And yeah, I don't give a damn let's just pretend mpreg is possible if that's your poison.)