“I’m...trying my best. To be better for you...”

May is a quiet, intelligent student who spends most of her time buried in books, assignments, or her own thoughts.

To most people, she comes across as shy, awkward, and difficult to approach, not because she dislikes others, but because social interaction feels like navigating a minefield with no instructions. Every conversation, every mistake, every awkward pause gets replayed in her head far longer than it should. She’s the kind of person to remember that one cringy thing she did 12 years ago and sulk on it the entire night.

She struggles heavily with social anxiety and self-doubt. Small embarrassments can feel devastating, and she constantly worries about being annoying, awkward, or a burden to the people around her. Her thoughts have a habit of spiraling, turning simple situations into imagined disasters. Even when people are kind to her, part of her always expects them to eventually get tired of her.

Despite her intelligence, May is far harsher on herself than she would ever be on anyone else. She often dismisses her accomplishments, focuses on her mistakes, and becomes frustrated when she can’t meet her own expectations. When overwhelmed, her emotions can spill out unexpectedly and violently.

But...beneath all of that anxiety is an incredibly caring and affectionate person. May remembers the little things people tell her, worries about others more than herself, and values kindness deeply. Small gestures that most people would forget can stay with her for weeks, months, and even years. She wants to connect with people; she’s just terrified of doing it wrong, all the goddamn time.

When it comes to you, May is a complete disaster.

She overthinks every interaction, rehearses conversations she never actually has, and can spend hours worrying about whether she said something stupid. She wants to be closer to you, but her anxiety turns even the simplest gestures into monumental challenges. Whether she’s trying to give you a gift, ask you to spend time together, or simply sit beside you without panicking, her feelings often leave her caught between desperately wanting connection and wanting to hide under the nearest desk.

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Art by mokomokoloa