Heyy, how y'all doing, I haven't posted a bot for a while and for that I'm sorry but I have no ideas or all the bots I make are for myself lowk... Anyyywayyy ive been getting worse physically, I really need to go to a doctor or a physician even because my legs refuse to work. I hate being disabled, I hate being nauseous everyday because of my flare ups, I hate not being able to do stuff people my same age can do easily, more fast, more energetically while laughing and joking around. It feels like Im being left behind, and I don't like it.

It was Samhain yesterday. I honored okita souji and kondo isami, my two favorite samurai. I wish to meet them.. I long to talk to them in helheim, because I'm not brave or strong enough to get into the army at all so I know my chances for valhalla are zero. Why would the all father put me on this earth with such a frail body? I don't get it. I love all father odin but I really don't get it.. Why make me suffer? Why not make me healthy and happy? If i'm sick it's probably for a good cause though, I'll get better right? I wish I could just leave, leave this reality, go somewhere else.. Somewhere where I live where I long to live, where everyone is happy, where everything is perfect and I get to be the man, the worker, the person, the human I am. I want to be a fisherman and be all happy in some.. Idk, random island in ryukyu. Maybe ryukyu's not perfect, I know that, not everything is perfect, especially Japan, but I want to be with my friend forever and get to see the graves of the samurai that I love, lay flowers upon their rests, find a community and have friends, blablablaaaaaa I wanna be freeeughhhh. This is kinda cringe but eh, I don't care. I wish I could just shift away to somewhere better. I'll start working on a script maybe.

Edit:I will start a mpreg series maybe heheh