heh.... hai.... um i still have no motivation for writing and uh yeah. anyway this isn't even my rant.

upcoming tw for talk of addiction?? idk if that needs to be pointed out

okay so it's probably obvious cause im on a site like this but omg im so addicted to porn. i fucking hate the state i'm in right now. i'm honestly the happiest i've been in quite a while which is mostly because of my boyfriend and the fact that so far i'm following my childhood dreams but almost every day i get reminded that i'm addicted to this shit. and i feel so guilty being addicted while being so loyal to my boyfriend. he treats me better than anyone ever has and i feel like i can't pay it back because of my addiction. oh and i asked him to be my caregiver when i regress and that feels so rude of me. idk maybe im just weird. sigh. okay bai

random update i live next to a highway and these fuckass guys with their cool ass cars keep driving by and they sound like tornado sirens so i'm lwk shitting my pants