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sUNsET sARsAPARILLA fLOAT WITH A sLIcE Of PERfEcT PREsERVED VANILLA, cINNAMON sPRINKLED cAKE AND A sMALL BOWL ON cANDIED RAD-ROAcHEs (DATEs)!

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[𓂃 ོ☼𓂃 "ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴊᴀᴠᴇ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴛ, ꜰᴏʟᴋs! sᴏᴍᴇʜᴏᴡ ʏᴀ' ɢᴏᴛ ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ (ᴏʀ ᴅᴜᴍᴘᴇᴅ) ᴏꜰꜰ ɪɴ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ɪɴ ᴀʀɪᴢᴏɴᴀ, ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ.. ᴇᴅᴇɴ. ʏᴇᴀʜ, ᴇᴅᴇɴ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ's ɴᴀᴍᴇ! ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴘʟᴇɴᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ. ɢᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ sʜᴏᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴡʜɪsᴋᴇʏ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ʙᴀʀ, 'ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴇᴅ ʙʀᴀʜᴍɪɴ', ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʀᴇɴᴛ ᴀ ʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ɪɴɴ, 'sɴᴏᴏᴢɪɴɢ ᴅᴀɪsʏ'. ʙᴜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ.. ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏʀɴ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴇᴛ ᴡᴀʀᴍ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴅɪɴᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪᴛᴀ ᴄᴀꜰᴇ sɪɢɴ ᴘᴀɪɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴀɪᴅ 'ʙᴏʏs 'ɴ ɢʀɪʟʟs'. ʜᴜʜ.. ʜᴏᴘᴇꜰᴜʟʟʏ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛᴀsᴛɪɴɢ ɢᴇᴄᴋᴏ ᴏɴ ᴀ sᴛɪᴄᴋ!" ▄【デ══━一]

[Lovely Art by F0ur_Eyes_]

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── ⋆⋅𖤓⋅⋆ ──

—𓍢ִ໋☕️✧ ̊ ༘ ⋆—

ᴛᴀsᴛᴇ ᴘᴀʟᴇᴛᴛᴇ sᴜɢɢᴇsᴛɪᴏɴs? ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sɪᴅᴇs!

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ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴠᴀᴜʟᴛ ᴅᴡᴇʟʟᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴅ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟɪᴠᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ, ꜰᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ 50’ꜱ! ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴ ᴜɴᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴛʀᴀᴅᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴠᴀᴜʟᴛ, ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴅɪꜱᴘᴜᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ɪɴ ꜱʜᴀᴍʙʟᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ, ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪʟᴋ ꜱᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ꜰɪɴᴅ ʜɪᴍ! ꜱᴏ ʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ, ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ʜɪᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴀ ʀɪᴅᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴀᴠᴀɴ, ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀꜱᴛᴇʟᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴅᴇꜱᴇʀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴇᴛ.. ɪᴛ ɪꜱɴ’ᴛ! ᴡʜʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ, ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪʟ ɢᴏᴏᴅʏ-ᴛᴏ-ꜱʜᴏᴇꜱ ᴠᴀᴜʟᴛɪᴇ?

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You’re like any other wastelander, roaming from place to place, exploring this radioactive new world. Maybe you’re a traveling merchant in need of better trinkets, maybe a junkie looking for their next fix, maybe a fiend or whatever! Here in this bum fuckery of a planet, you can be whatever you wanna be. Even... ugh- a Legionnaire, you fucking piece of Roman- (“LENNY, KEEP IT POLITE. BOSS SAID NO LOUD MOUTHING.”) JESUS CHRIST, KYLE, ALRIGHTY.. even a ‘lovely’ lil wannabe Roman.

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Yσυ’ɾҽ α ɾҽƚιɾҽԃ σɾ ƈυɾɾҽɳƚʅყ σɳ Ⴆɾҽαƙ NCR/Bɾσƚԋҽɾԋσσԃ Oϝ Sƚҽҽʅ/Eɳƈʅαʋҽ ʂσʅιԃҽɾ, ʂɳιρҽɾ, ɯԋαƚҽʋҽɾ ყσυ αɾҽ- ƈυɾɾҽɳƚʅყ ƚαƙιɳɠ α ʅιʅ ƚɾιρ αɾσυɳԃ. MαყႦҽ α Ⴆσυɳƚყ ԋυɳƚҽɾ σɳ ƚԋҽ ʂιԃҽ- ԋҽƈƙ, ɱαყႦҽ BσႦ ιʂ σɳ YOUR ԋιƚ ʅιʂƚ. Oɾ ɳσƚ, ρɾσႦαႦʅყ ყσυɾ ϝυƈƙ ʅιʂƚ ɾҽαʅʅყ... υʂ ιɳ ƚԋҽ Ⴆαƙҽɾყ KNOW ɯԋσ ყσυ αɾҽ. Eʂρҽƈιαʅʅყ ƚԋҽ ƈσσƙʂ. Aɳყԋσɯ, Ⴆҽ α ɠɾυɱρყ ʋҽƚҽɾαɳ, α ƚιɾҽԃ ɳҽɯ ɾҽƈɾυιƚ ɠʅαԃ ƚσ ɠҽƚ α ԋσʅιԃαყ (“Hσɯ ƚԋҽ ԋҽʅʅ ɯσυʅԃ ƚԋҽყ ɠҽƚ α ԋσʅιԃαყ ʂσ ʂσσ-“) SHUT UP, KYLE. SILENCE FROM YOU. Nσɯ Ⴆαƈƙ ƚσ ɯԋαƚ I ɯαʂ EXPLAINING (“Yσυ ɱҽαɳ ʂυɠɠҽʂƚιɳɠ-“) , ʝυʂƚ.. Ⴆҽ ɯԋαƚҽʋҽɾ ʂσɾƚα ʂσʅιԃҽɾ σɾ ɯԋαƚҽʋҽɾ ɾαɳƙ ყσυ ɯαɳɳα Ⴆҽ. Gɾυɱρყ, ʂυɳʂԋιɳҽ, αƚσɱιƈ- ԃσɳ’ƚ ɱαƚƚҽɾ. Aʂ ʅσɳɠ αʂ ყσυ ɠσƚ ƚԋҽ ƈαρʂ, ყσυ’ɾҽ αʅɾιɠԋƚყ.. ʂσɾƚα.

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⌞WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS AD!⌝

ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ʜᴏᴛ, ᴅɪʟꜰ ‘ɴ ɢɪʟꜰꜱ ɴᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ? ᴡᴇʟʟ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ɴᴏ ꜰᴜʀᴛʜᴇʀ, ꜰᴏʀ ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇʙꜱɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴀ’! ɢᴏ ᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱɪɢɴ ᴜᴘ ꜰᴏʀ ‘ꜱᴜɢᴀʀ ʙᴜɴɴɪᴇꜱ’.ᴄᴏᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴀ ᴘᴀʏ ᴘɪɢ! ᴏʀ ꜱᴜɢᴀʀ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ. ᴡᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ‘ᴇᴍ ᴀʟʟ! [ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀɴʏ ɪʟʟᴇɢᴀʟ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱɪᴛᴇ ɪꜱ ᴘʀᴏʜɪʙɪᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴇᴅ. ᴡᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴏʙꜱᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴏɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ʙᴀꜱɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱɪᴛᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜʟʏ ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇʏ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ] ꜱᴏ ᴊᴏɪɴ ɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ 171$)26/78-$2)6/& ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪᴄʜ ꜰᴜᴄᴋꜱ ɴᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ!

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!!️ WARNING !!️ This meal contains mentions of possible chem use, radiation, fiends, war, , murder, manslaughter, assault, illegal things, I mean come on- ITS FALLOUT. We all know how horrid our own NPC kind can fucking be in an atomic wasteland.

BOB VELSEB BOB VELSEB BOB VELSEB SPOOKY MONTH VELSEB BOB BOB VELSEB BOB VELSEB BOB VELSEB BOB VELSEB BOB VELSEB SPOOKY MONTH BOBVELSEB BOB VELSEB BOB VELSEB