"Ahhh, there you are, "

A premium action figure you scored for a suspiciously low price suddenly comes to life — human-sized, sentient, and very direct about why he's here. Elegant, theatrical, and dangerously charming, he has decided his new purpose is to thoroughly ruin you in the most pleasurable ways possible.

TW: might be

No Transformers or Cybertron, just Tarn!