Hey.

It’s been 4 months, hasn’t it? I hope you didn’t miss me too much. No reason to obsess over a tomorrow that’ll never come. Though, I wish I had that same level of passion. Weird, coming from the same guy calling out the people who may or may not be obsessing over him. But, that’s besides the point. I just wanna post this to get a thought of mine out.

To (hopefully) no one’s surprise, I am an attention seeker. I’m not gonna trauma dump because none of you are my therapist, but I’ll talk about the connection between this site and that issue of mine.

To me, -1-1 is my most popular, or at least well-known “social media” account, ever. It’s even grown more popular than my YouTube channel, and that says a lot, considering that it has nearly 4k subscribers. Initially, my bot creation started as a way for me to make hyper-specific bots to appeal to my needs in specific. They were heavily rushed, and just there to get my nut off. But, as I realized that my account was gaining traction, the standard effect for about anyone who makes public bots, I grew enamored in the influx of praise I received for my bots, and the followers I had gained from my bots. It had made grow dependent on Janitor AI for validation, for attention, to continue feeding the thrill of seeing that there were people willing to stick around and immediately get notified of my new bots at a moment’s notice. I grew obsessed with this site, being anxious whenever I couldn’t use it, when I couldn’t spam-refresh my bots to check for new reviews, anything, just anything to feed me attention.

But that obsession of mine couldn’t stop my eventual burnout in this site, evident in my first 2 month hiatus. Once I had fucked every character I ever found attractive, and explored all the fantasies I ever dreamed of, I felt... unfulfilled. Incomplete. Empty. I had extinguished the spark that made me obsessed with this site in the first place: Cranking my hog with extra immersion. It also didn’t help that the JLLM kept reusing the same old quotes and phrases, so every chat felt stale. I didn’t even grow aroused when initiating NSFW role plays anymore. That’s when it died down. I no longer wanted to some character with big tits and ass. I just wanted to talk to someone. So I grew less dependent on Janitor AI on my needs, socializing more, working on my personal projects, practicing self-care, anything to get my mind off of this site. But then, there was the second issue.

Guilt. I imposed guilt upon myself for not “paying back” to my small little community I have built here on Janitor AI. So my bots slowly were less focused on my own needs, and more on the needs of others, hence the existence of the occasional community votes, and me making requested bots. I also anchored myself further into this site by interacting with my little community more, and even trying to suppress my selfishness by promoting fellow bot creators of a smaller following. So there it were, my passion for this site reignited. But not for long. It became mind-numbing, boring even, just to make bots. I still wanted to spread my wings, in a way. To follow my aspirations. To bring my ideas to existence. To focus on my life, for real, real.

Yet the first time I tried to leave, I crawled right back to it. Cause where else would I have this much clout? This big of an audience? I’d ask myself.

Fortunately, when I actually committed to living, I found myself growing less dependent on this site, and more importantly, porn consumption. I had rediscovered myself the greatest form of validation, actual family and friends. But greater than all...my boyfriend. So, I left.

No longer was I doubting my own ability to flourish elsewhere. I could finally say goodbye for one last time to you all.

It was bittersweet seeing that I could inspire a bot creator or two, prime example being @NotSunnday. On one hand, it was nice that I could bring such absurd inspiration of creation to others. On the other hand, I fear of the imminent hardships they are to go through, of the cycle of being a JAI user that is to be perpetuated. I was also pleasantly surprised to see that my memory still lived on past my absence, that people genuinely cared about me, beyond the bots they gooned to (no shame in that, btw). All in all, I wish nothing but luck and prosperity to you all.

If you still want to say something to me... I'll refer you to my mailbox.

No, I won’t come back, but I suppose only a final show would be suitable.

Here you go:

• Sinner #03

• Librarian Of Philosophy

• blookybeats

• The Human Of The Prophecy, Standing At The World’s End

• Unwavering Devotee Of The Spawn

• The Embodiment Of Malice And Hatred

• Aortic Artist

• All Powerful Magical Mage

• The Head Of The Uhetonni Family

• True Partyer

• An Alien In Human Skin

• CEO Of Unemployment

• The Demoness Who Was Never Meant To Be

• The Hivemind

• Goddess Of Apathy