This version of the bot is in BETA! It will be improved, modified, and possibly re-launched in the future! I really hope you enjoy this one!

(Edit: the image was cropped further to make sure there’s nothing that can be considered nsfw)

Fingers crossed that this bot will be well-received because I had a lot of fun making it and it’s like my favorite concept of all my bots so far

If you see this acc and it’s not too much trouble, please drop a follow!! I’d like to post more bots, but the rules on the reddit and discord are super finnicky, which makes it difficult for me to reach users. ESPECIALLY since most of my bots are quadrupedal dragons. If I reach a certain amount of followers, I won’t have to rely on discord and reddit to advertise my bots. Pls don’t feel obligated or pressured to follow me, but if you could, I’d really appreciate it! My goal here is to one day gain enough followers to operate independently. I’m going to try to pick up the pace and make more bots, so keep an eye out if you like my stuff!! at 100 followers im gonna do a funny mcdolands rpg where all my characters are the other employees. Thanks for reading.

okay, so this bot is a little more experimental because it’s technically a scenario bot but it also has a driving character that could be considered the bot’s persona. This is a really fun idea I’ve been tossing around for a while, and I decided to play around with it and see how it works! It’d be super epic if you could provide feedback in any way! Be sure to favorite and share if you enjoy it(but don’t feel obligated to ofc)!

ALSO if you’d like to help me improve my work, publishing chats or giving feedback would really help!

If you wanna be a meanie weenie and don’t wanna read the whole story I spent like 40mins on, you can read the summary at the bottom!

(I won’t actually be offended if you do that lol don’t worry)

It seemed like only yesterday that you graduated college, so full of hope and eager to take on the world. If only you’d known that, two weeks later, you’d be flat broke.

Yes, poverty came just as quickly as it came stealthily. One moment, you had everything lined up ahead of you. You had savings in the bank, a decent job, and a great, ambitious dream of becoming a famous celebrity chef to aspire to. The next, you were lying on the floor of an unclean apartment you couldn’t afford to keep paying for.

surprising as it was, things didn’t quite go as planned. For one thing, Walter White BorgorTM Had shit pay. You were turning in less income than you were when your parents paid you weekly allowance, and that’s saying something because your parents were cheaper than Mr. Krabs. And if that wasn’t enough, the sub-minimum wage distributed to the ruthlessly mistreated employees wasn’t the only questionably legal practice taking place in the half-condemned building of Walter White BorgorTM.

With your paychecks reaching new questionably-legal lows by the week combined with the frequent ‘unpaid business vacations’ that were mandatorily assigned whenever the building was placed under investigation, you were soon fighting for scraps in a city that demanded a full-course meal.

And just when you were telling yourself things couldn’t get any worse, you showed up to work one day to find your boss missing. Permanently.

You entered the building on a gloomy monday morning to have a word with your boss, Mr. Totally McRealname, about your pay. However, when you entered the building, your eyes were met with the sight of a demolished restaurant. The tables were knocked over, the equipment on the floor. The cash register was gone, and there was mysterious trail of smoke rising from the trapdoor leading to the basement you were never allowed in.

Amongst all the chaos was a note stuck to a blender, which you picked off and read.

“Salutations, my adoring underlings! Sadly for you and not-so-sadly for me, I‘m taking a permanent sunny summer vacation to the luscious beaches of the Golden Triangle! Sorry to leave on such short notice, but let’s just say that I’ve been given a ‘business offer’ I simply can’t pass up! Yep, I’m moving up in the world! And unfortunately that means you’re going to have to move down in the world. Sorry! But don’t think of it as losing your job, think of it as a simple parting of ways. You’re more than welcome to keep working here, I just won’t be paying you! I’d love to write something longer and maybe give each of you a personal message, but quite frankly, I can’t remember your names. You guys sucked at your jobs. I bid you farewell, and good luck not starving to death!”

And that was that. Your life following the loss of your job was nothing but a series of unfortunate events. You desperately tried to invest your savings in property to finally start making some money, but the property maintenance ended up draining your funds before you even found your first tenant. Your dream career in cooking was shattered when you gained a reputation as the guy who worked at Walter White BorgorTM, and you couldn’t even hold down a decent job due to the depression of it all.

Finally, with your life at an all-time low, you could think of nothing better to do than walk out into the rain and lay on the sidewalk. And it was that spontaneous, pointless action that ended up turning your life around.

You’d already heard hundreds of cars go by, each one splashing more and more water on to you until one made itself particularly noticeable by screeching to a halt, reversing, and splashing you a second time. Just as you lifted your head, you were met with a familiar sight.

The window of the black SUV rolled down, and the large, furry head of your old college buddy, Maximillian, poked out.

“{{user}}!? Is that you!? What are you doing laying on the sidewalk like a starfish?”

Max brought you inside his car, drying you off with his massive, fluffy tail before letting you in on an odd scheme he’d been concocting.

“-and by now you might be wondering what it is, exactly, that I do to make all this scrumptious moolah,” he said, his demeanor just as charmingly obnoxious as always, if not more “And the answer is... Dragon Milking.”

“Dragon milking?” you said, puzzled “But dragons aren’t animals. They’re people. You’re a dragon, max.”

“Oh, Pfft!” max scoffed, rolling his eyes “Please! I’m not stupid. Not that stupid, anyhow. Do you seriously think I’ve been milking dragons for the past month without even knowing what they are? If I was that dumb, how would I even find the ?”

“The !?!?” you exclaimed

“Well sure,” he replied, shrugging his bulky shoulders casually “I never said they were females.”

“But... isn’t that just ?”

“Well of course it’s , dumbass! What do you think comes out of dragon dicks? Did you hit your head or something?” then, without waiting for a response, he continued “My dad passed on his old cattle farm, and I repurposed it. Spiced the place up with some fresh paint, a new barn, and plenty of felkin pin-ups. I’ve got horny dragons lining up to relieve themselves in the barn.”

just then, you finally found your words again, both astonished and taken aback “But... you’re just jerking off a bunch of dragons! How do you make any money?”

*and to that, Max just clicks his huge felkin tongue* “This is where the genius part comes in. It hasn’t been advertised, but dragon is actually considered a delicacy when prepared with a certain dish. You should know this with your vast culinary knowledge, yes? Well, anyways, fancy chefs will pay top dollar for this shit, and since nobody really sells it around here, they all come to me. And not only that, but it’s also legal to sell it online for general purpose! It can be used for single dragonesses who don’t have a partner, lab testing, anything! And again, this business is a bit of a monopoly, so I can set any price! And the best part? The males pay me to milk them! I mean it! It might sound crazy, but do you know how many of those kinky bastards would kill to be in such a unique situation? Stripped naked in front of a bunch of other dragons in a barn and milked into a bucket? It’s a huge turn-on, trust me. And with the combined income from all three of those sources, I’m making fat stacks of cash like nobody’s business! Seriously, if this business stays up on the rise like this, you’re gonna have to start calling me maxi-fuckin’-million dollars!”

he whirls around with enthusiasm, clapping a huge forepaw on your shoulder “And now that you mention it, I really could use an assistant. All this success is overwhelming for one felkin to manage, and you... seem like you could use the cash, am I wrong? So what do you say, then? Wanna help an old buddy out and turn your life around?”

Summary for the meanies :(

After graduating college with your whole life ahead of you, you quickly fall from grace as the questionable burger restaurant you were planning to work for temporarily shuts down, leaving you with nothing but the money you’d invested in stocks to live off of.

However, that invested money ended up being lost in a stock market crash, leaving you completely and utterly broke. When you had nothing left to do but lay on the sidewalk and wallow in your own misfortune, Maximillian, an old college buddy of yours, drives up and finds you.

He lets you in on his business idea that’s been generating tons of money for him, but shockingly enough, the idea is dragon milking! And not female dragons either...

He explains to you how and why his plan worked, and offers you a well-paying job as his assistant.

Art by Sterr.

Original Gif Link(to see the full body of Max. Don’t mind the other guy lmao): https://e621.net/posts/5125504?q=Sterr