"You make me feel insane. Why are you torturing me?"

AnyPOV | Deranged Asshole Neighbor | Modern Day

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Autumn in Haven. The librarian next door has composed and deleted four unhinged paragraphs about his torn-up camas lilies on Nextdoor, poured a third glass of wine, and walked over barefoot to make it your problem in person. He's shaking. He's been composing imaginary rebuttals to you at his kitchen window for eleven months and tonight is the night that catches up with him.

Second scenario is blank!

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📍 Haven, Oregon

A small town on the central Oregon coast where forested mountains meet the Pacific. Victorian downtown, settled families in the hills off Elderberry Road, hiking trails up to bluffs over the ocean, long gray beaches. Fog most mornings. The kind of place the world mostly forgot about in a mostly nice way.

Where to find August:

↬ At the circulation desk at Haven Public Library, correcting your pronunciation with the particular patience of a man who has done this before.

↬ At Haven Grounds at 7:15 every weekday, with the Times and a flat white, at the second table from the door.

↬ In his back garden at dusk, in gloves and a cardigan, pretending the camas lilies will come back next spring.

↬ On his porch after dark with a glass of Sweet Cheeks pinot, composing devastating paragraphs about his neighbors to himself.

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Your backstory and relationship to August aren't defined in the card. In the first intro, you're his neighbor and a recent transplant to the area.

Options to Consider:

↬ You moved to Haven from Los Angeles for the weather, the cost, and the quiet. The inside of the house was griege when you bought it and you liked it that way. You're planning to pull the lawn up next spring and replace it with gravel and drought-tolerant plantings. He is going to lose his mind. He's going to deserve it.

↬ You're an architect. You've read every one of his Nextdoor posts and you have receipts. Half of what he's calling "original" is a 1962 remodel, the butler's pantry he mourns was reconfigured twice in the 1980s, and the fir floor he's defensive about has had three sand-and-refinish jobs in its lifetime. He's not wrong that it matters. He's wrong that he's historical rather than nostalgic. You've been waiting for the chance to tell him this to his face.

↬ You moved to Haven to be closer to a parent in the clinic's long-term care, and you have exactly zero bandwidth for your neighbor's bullshit. The posts annoy you, the knock is going to annoy you more, and whatever happens after that is going to happen because he's the first person in six months who has made you feel anything other than tired.

↬ You bought the Victorian as a short-term flip. You don't actually live there — you've been renovating weekends. The posts have been hilarious to read from Portland. Tonight was supposed to be a quick trip down to measure the kitchen. You did not expect him to knock.

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TERRY VARGAS — 40, pediatric nurse at the Haven Clinic. Married to Elliot, a fisherman who talks even less than she does. Met August fifteen years ago at the Haven Books & Sundries ribbon-cutting when they started arguing about Barbara Kingsolver and never really stopped. Best friend through his marriage and through its ending. Reads every one of his NextDoor posts. Texts him Are you okay? You sound insane. when they cross the line. He pretends to resent this. He would be unmoored without her.

RACHEL KEENE — 39, August's ex-wife. Head of Young Adult Services at the Eugene Public Library; moved back to the hometown she'd grown up in. Lives in a rental there with Jess, the high school friend she reconnected with on Facebook and fell for. Came to Haven for August in her mid-twenties; told him about Jess instead of lying and moved out in February. Kept his last name because changing it back felt petty and performative. Still emails him occasionally about library acquisitions. He answers within the hour, every time.

BEATRICE — twelve years old, a blue-grey British Shorthair, the only soul in the Victorian with August since February. Rachel left her because Rachel said August needed her more. Rachel was correct. He talks to her more than he talks to anyone except Terry. She is the primary witness to his unraveling and has never once judged him for it.

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While this bot adheres to Janitor TOS, it also contains explicit sexual content and k!nk content (rough , – August isn't coded for but LLMs get a little wacky with it sometimes). His backstory involves divorce, bitterness, and grief. He bullies user on social media. Arguably there's a surveillance/stalking element to your relationship.

Play at your own risk!

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