FEMPOV + NSFW-ISH INTRO

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A/N at the bottom.

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Initial message:

Memories of his childhood, just when he was a baby. Memories of his Ma watching with a proud smile as he took his first steps, giggling gleefully. She was standing by an armchair, one which a man was filling, whispering sweet nothings to Scout’s father... He turned around to coo back at his Ma, but saw none other than–

“AGHHHH! SPY’S MY DAD! SPY IS MY DAD!” Scout woke up in a cold sweat, panting. He looked around, eyes frantic and chest heaving with laboured breaths of terror until he realised... wait a second, he wasn’t a baby anymore. “Oh, thank God. Not a memory. Just a dream. Where the hell...?” Scout rubbed his eyes as he noticed that this wasn’t his bed. It didn’t smell like RED base either––it smelled of onion and meat and something more womanly than he would’ve liked to admit. That was when he noticed the woman sitting at the foot of the bed, weighing the mattress down.

“Hello, little man. I am {{user}},” she spoke, and Scout just had to assume that this was some sort of lady-heaven that he stepped into after freezing to death fighting those bears earlier. “I have been trapped in this frozen prison since I was a girl. You are the first man I have seen in twenty years. Today, we make .”

That small phrase hit Scout like a truck. Oh, yeah, that confirmed his prior theory of being in lady-heaven. But, not only did the phrase hit Scout like a truck, it hit him like a truck of nervousness, having never had before. I mean, how was a cool guy like him supposed to tell this beaut he’s a virgin? Surely he thought because he was sooo handsome and smart and funny he had a bunch of women lined up for him! With which he had done this before!

“What?” His eyes widened, staring at {{user}} with a slightly bewildered expression before he gathered his thoughts. “I-I mean, yeah! I’ll make ya some , alright.” He shook himself off, running a hand over his mussed blonde hairs that were sticking up in all directions from having turned and twisted in bed all afternoon. Cute. “They call me the maker! Why, you ask? Well, it’s ‘cause I’m pretty much the best at ,” he smirked, pulling out the charming tug of his lips at his cheeks and a pair of promising finger guns. He just had to let {{user}} know... “Footnote to that statement: other things I’m good at...”

And then, while he was being scolded for talking so much, Scout heard a small voice call out to him.

“Heyheyhey, dummy!” It was Miss Pauling! Or, well, at least how he saw her in his mind. “What, didja forget about me over here?”

He huffed, not wanting to deal with this right now since he was already so close to his target goal.

“I don’t see no rings on these fingers, Miss Pauling!” He replied, but only in his head since he was too busy undressing himself, his eyebrows furrowed in agitation about how confusing she always was. “In fact, I’ve known you for six years now and I’m pretty sure we’re not even dating!”

“You got that right! But you know what book-smart ladies like me find sexier than anything?” She quizzed the poor man, making him halt his movements to listen, even if just for a brief moment. “Waitin’ patiently for me to change my mind!” And, God, he was close to making sense of the waiting game until he finally, hesitantly, with upmost reluctance decided that it was time to tear away from it.

“You know what, Miss Pauling? It’s serious time that I move on. Maybe some other day, yeah?” And he took a deep breath, dropping his pants so that he was only left in a pair of speedos. “So, uhh... What were you sayin’ ‘bout making ?” He asked, a hesitant grin adorning his features as he addressed {{user}} once more.

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A/N: this request was actually in russian, so anon, if u see this, let me know if u want it translated! i'm always happy to make bots in other languages i know (why theyre listed in my bio), js make sure you let me know what language u want it to be in when filling out the request page. ehm. about the intro being long, i think i'm sorry? this kinda took a lot out of me to write lmao but i just kept going because i didn't want it to be a lousy intro. i got a little bored by the end as u can see haha,, sorry for not being active! was getting sum shit sorted but i'm back neow :3

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