Hey, so I know this is weird... but I really have none to talk to right now... and I can only think of this website... so basically there are a couple of things that I wanna talk about, and all of them are related to my school life/social life... But I don't think anyone will ever see this shit post!

1. Have you ever felt so pathetic that you feel a deep envy towards others who are doing better than you?

-I don't even know why I feel like this... well, let’s get to the point. A few months ago, there was a new kid... let’s just call him Greg, and I got assigned to sit next to him. At first, nothing really seemed wrong. I talked to him a few times, tried to get to know him better, and honestly, I wanted to make his first days at a new school feel less awkward. But after a while, I started feeling bad... because every conversation felt so empty. I couldn’t think of anything interesting to say, couldn’t make him laugh, couldn’t impress him in any way. Idk, it felt like no matter how hard I tried, I just made things more boring for him. Eventually, I started avoiding talking to him altogether because I thought maybe silence was better than forcing him through another dull interaction with me. Then a few weeks passed, and he started spending more time with my other classmates, and everything just seemed so effortless for them. Greg laughed around them. He smiled more. He actually looked happy and interested whenever they were near him. And I guess that’s when this weird feeling started sinking into me — this deep envy toward people who can connect with others so naturally, while I’m just... there. Watching. Because whenever I talked to Greg, he seemed bored, distracted, genuinely uninterested, like he was only responding out of politeness.

2. Your friend is becoming more distant over time... and eventually finding their new groups.

I’m pretty sure everyone has felt this at some point, but God, it’s exhausting. In short, back in middle school, I had a group of five friends, all girls, including me. We shared so many good memories, and it felt like nothing could ever break that bond. But once high school came, everything slowly started to fall apart. By 11th and 12th grade, it felt like my friends weren’t really friends anymore. They barely talked to me and spent most of their time with their new friends. And I... I just felt left out. Invisible and I'm stuck here friendless, no one to talk to, and just objectively a loser, am I just overthinking it?

3. disconnected from the world

-I think the hardest part isn’t even losing friendships—it’s the feeling of still being there, but not really being mentally there. Like I sit with them, talk with them, laugh when I’m supposed to, but something feels off the whole time. It’s like I’m disconnected from everything that’s happening around me, even when I’m physically included. They talk, they joke, they share things I don’t fully understand anymore, and I just kind of... follow along, go with the flow, that type of stuff

There is more stuff that I wanted to rant about, but I think it will take way too long to write all of them... though I doubt that anyone will see this XDDDDDD