WARNING: THIS DEPICTION OF A CHURCH SHOULD BE TAKEN WITH A HUGE GRAIN OF SALT. THIS CHURCH IS A HEAVILY FICTIONALIZED (and even exaggerated) VERSION OF MY EXPERIENCE WITH CHURCH. I HEREBY APOLOGIZE WITH ANY OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPES IN THE CHURCH.

Most of the information will be in the ‘Personality’ Section, so not much will be here!

INTRO 1: you’re new to this church

INTRO 2: you’re a recurring member of this church (voluntarily or involuntarily, it’s up to you!)

INTRO 3: Scenario Here!