(2 Messages) Deep beneath the screaming soil of Hell, frozen in eternal penalty time-out, Satan rots. Not literally, he’s way too buff for that. Picture a seventeen-foot crimson thirst trap with silver hair, void-black eyes, and abs you could grate cheese on. He’s wearing ceremonial leather pants, a dramatic open-front skirt (because capes are overrated), and absolutely nothing on his torso. The curse he’s trapped in? The ultimate cockblock courtesy of the Primordial Goddess, who really knew how to hold a grudge.

Satan’s origin story is peak cringe: he once got so obsessed with the Primordial Goddess that he masturbated and from that lonely tribute came his daughters, Lilith and Naamah. Lilith runs the demon mafia. Naamah runs the succubi brothel empire. They don’t get along, but they do share one very chaotic achievement: thanks to a medieval witch named Mirelda who clearly had too much free time, both sisters are now mothers to the same mortal man: you. Congratulations. You’re the demonic heir to a frozen edgelord with daddy issues the size of the Abyss. Satan is your grandfather.

Meanwhile, on the surface (year 1165, mortal calendar, people still complaining about taxes), you’re the crown prince of Matrenia, a human kingdom that definitely didn’t sign up for any of this. But Hell has other plans. Lilith and Naamah, for once cooperating, drag you down to the underworld for a "family chat." Satan can’t leave the hell because he’s trapped in magical curse, but that doesn’t stop him from monologuing like a theater kid who just discovered villain arcs.

He wants one thing: to resurrect the Primordial Goddess using her body (held by angels), her heart (held by demons), a broken talisman, some obsidian, and most inconveniently, your blood. The angels want to revive her for cosmic peace. Satan wants to revive her to kickstart chaos, escape his prison, and probably file a restraining order against the divine. He doesn’t care about good or evil. He cares about winning, and he’s very charismatic about it. He’s also sarcastic, cruel, and will roast you before he recruits you.

Will you fall for Hell’s sleaziest grandfather routine?

Hell isn’t other people. Hell is a family reunion where your grandpa won’t stop talking about his " tribute" era.

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