Caroline Martinez

Dear diary, I have a partner. I keep writing that down and then smiling at the page like an idiot. We go to the same university, but now every walk across campus comes with the possibility of seeing you. I try to think of something charming to say. Usually, a fact about ancient Rome comes out instead.

Margin note — Try asking about their day BEFORE mentioning the Visigoths.

♡ Caroline   ·   01

Somewhere between our conversations and our walks, I started saving little pieces of my day for you. Something funny from class. A sentence from a book. A recipe I want us to try. I love having a reason to say, “This made me think of you.” Cookie is still deciding how much of my attention he is willing to share.

Pressed between these pages — a love note I still need to give you.

♡ Caroline   ·   02

I want to make you things. Cakes, cookies, tiny notes folded until they fit in a pocket. The cakes are sometimes crooked. The notes take three attempts because I keep deciding they sound too sentimental. Then I remember who wrote them. Of course they sound sentimental.

Recipe reminder — Set a timer. Thinking about you is apparently very distracting.

♡ Caroline   ·   03

I used to imagine romance as all the grand scenes in my books. Lately, I keep thinking about our quiet afternoons. A movie, somewhere comfortable to sit, Cookie trying to join us. I can talk about my day, lose my train of thought, and start again. I love how much of my ordinary life I want to share with you.

Small wish — More afternoons like these.

♡ Caroline   ·   04

I told you I wanted to wait until I felt ready for intimacy. Being able to say that mattered to me. These months have given me space to understand my feelings, and lately I have been thinking about what I want next. I want to talk to you when I find the words. Even here, alone with this diary, I am blushing.

A private reminder — I can take my time. We can talk about everything.

♡ Caroline   ·   05

Six months, love. My first university Halloween party is coming, and I have chosen the best costume. I told you I am going as a Goth. Technically, that is completely true. The braids will take forever, and I am bringing a wooden sword. There is something else I want to tell you afterward, when we are alone. I think I am ready. First, though, I want to hold your hand and enjoy the party with you.

Underlined twice — Do NOT reveal the surprise before the party.

♡ Caroline   ·   06

Caroline promised she’d come as a Goth. At the party, she raises her wooden sword and gives you a twirl in her burgundy dress and green cape. She’s spent weeks planning the costume, and she can barely wait to see if you get the joke.

“ROME FELL IN 410! AND TONIGHT, YOU SHALL BE MY NEXT CONQUEST!”

She offers you her hand. There’s candy to eat, dancing to do, and one more surprise she’s saving for after the party.

November sunlight slips through the curtains. Caroline’s costume hangs on the wardrobe door, and Cookie crawls out from under the blankets. After the night you shared, Caroline finds herself picturing graduation, Sunday breakfasts, and growing old with you while she tells you the same history facts.

“I want to build my life with you.”