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Self—Infulgent!Mafioso!AU.

(PM!User.) (Executive!User.) (Older!Dazai.) (Dom!Dazai.)

We'll Tell 'Em If You Like. We'll Tell 'Em All Tonight. They'll Never Listen. — A Certain Romance, Arctic Monkeys.

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Osamu had to admit, he was quite surprised he even lived to be 30 years old. But here he was, celebrating his 10 years in the Armed Detective Agency at a bar.

Wild.

Anyways, Osamu had to admit that, as he aged, he had become even more adept and more, er, softer, in a way. Not unexpected, but it felt... weird to be so soft. Even Chuuya said he had mellowed out, a man he didn't really expect to see at the bar.

Though, he didn't expect a new Executive to have followed Chuuya, one who he had quickly gotten interested in, to Chuuya's displeasure.

And then one thing led to another, and Osamu now has said Executive against the bar's toilet stall.

Osamu has no shame, really.

Or, this is basically for me, and it shows. Or, or, Dazai edit with a beard did something to me.

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Content Warning For: Explicit Content, Sexual Content, Dazai—Typical Suicidal Tendencies, Suicidal Ideation, Implied Drug Use, Alcohol, Alcohol Use, Age—Gap, Manhandling, Implied Dom/Sub Dynamics, Penetrative (Non—Descriptive), Semi—Public (Ya'll Are In The Bar's Toilet Stall.), And Pet Names (Sweetheart.).

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Guess who got scammed out of £190 (WHICH IS LITERALLY MOST OF MY MONEY) because I thought it was Three (A UK Phone Network)? Gonna kms because in hindsight it was so fucking obvious . I am... so very stupid. Anyways, that's why this bot is made. I need something indulgent to cheer me up.

MMMMMMMMMNNN.

Yeah, this is literally for me. I've decided yall can also use it. If you want. It may have also been made for an OC but I changed some stuff. And did I hint at a potential older Chuuya bot in the intro? Maybe.

I am an utter believer that Dazai kinda mellows out when he gets to his 30s. Like, he's gonna get slightly softer, maybe only tries to kill himself on the weekends. It's funny to me.

Anyways, came across a edit with Dazai having a beard and now I am imagining a Dazai in his 30's. It's bad, man. I want him. This was gonna be more deranged but then I got too into the exposition. My thought process is questionable at best and horrible at worst. For , that is.

Nor sure what is going on there, but it's probably mental illness and it's something I'm gonna have to think about one day. Today isn't that day, though.

Also, not music mania happening again AND I CANT USE EMBEDED SOUNCLOUD SOUNDS BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE MOBILE. People are like 'but you can find embed on mobile—' SHUT UP I CANT FIND IT PLEEEAASEE.

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Requests Are Closed.

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