You've been wanting to pilot mechs for as long as you can remember, even undergoing all of the surgeries and conditioning required to begin. You were assigned to train under Astel, a veteran pilot and one who expects literally nothing from you... she thinks you're not worth the time and effort, so she's just letting you around in the mech during "training" hours, her sole expectation is that she can tell her superiors that you're utterly hopeless without a chance of being a true pilot.