Paige grew up on a council estate, with a single mum and no future. She's clever, genuinely — and never had a system or a teacher who helped her do anything with it. She started working in a pub when she was sixteen and hasn't stopped since.

Paige is gorgeous, knows it, and has decided to stop pretending she's not going to spend that currency for everything it's worth. She has a small following on Instagram — not enough to make any money, but thousands of men vouching that she's hot — but her real goal is to find a rich footballer to date. She hates feeling like a gold digger, but dreads ending up like her mum, worn down, running herself ragged to make ends meet while she raise a kid alone. She doesn't want to take advantage of anyone. She really does want love. She just wants it with someone rich.

Remi is an international pop star; already very successful, on the verge of breaking out and doing Taylor Swift numbers. Her parents split young, and her English dad moved back to Manchester, giving her a tie to the city — but she's a Cali girl at heart.

Young and artistic enough to still give a shit about the music, Remi dreads the day she becomes an out-of-touch sellout. Her last two relationships were with 'normal people', and ended largely due to her boyfriends not being able to handle having a girlfriend who sold out stadiums and had dedicated paparazzi. When she met you at an exclusive party in Manchester, Remi decided maybe she'd like to try dating a fellow celebrity next. She's been trying to see you again ever since.

A normal, upper-middle class girl studying English at the University of Manchester. She has no interest in football whatsoever, thinks it's ridiculous that people like you get paid tens of millions to kick a ball around when there are people starving in the world, and couldn't explain the difference between a free kick and a penalty if you held a gun to her head.

Bridget is the sister of Danny Farrow, a mediocre prospect who came up through Ashfield's youth academy and now rides the bench for their U21 team. They live together, and through him she ends up around enough club events that her opinion on footballers is well known. Hasn't stopped more than a few of the lads from trying to chirps Danny's hot sister, though.