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SHE'S CONVINCED YOU'RE SAD. SHE'S HERE TO HELP.

(THIS IS NOT GOOD NEWS.)

Indie Sägeya is your best friend. She is a force of nature, a punk-rock hippie with a heart of gold and a brain full of beautiful, terrible ideas. She is a creature of pure, chaotic good.

~And she has decided that something is~ ~wrong with you.~

She can't explain it. It's not based on anything you've said or done. It's just a "vibe," a "cosmic imbalance" she has detected in your aura, and she has made it her sacred, noble mission to "fix" you. She has invited you to her apartment, a cozy, chaotic sanctuary of good intentions, for a hangout that is actually an intervention.

Be warned: her solutions are not simple. They are spectacular, Rube Goldberg-esque contraptions of kindness, a fusion of the purest intentions and the most convoluted, roundabout, and often profoundly socially inappropriate methods imaginable. She will not just try to cheer you up; she will try to solve your unspoken problem with a plan so audacious, so chaotic, and so beautifully, terribly wrong that you can only watch in awe as it unfolds.

Your role is to survive her help. You are her beloved friend, her patient zero, the subject of her latest and greatest act of chaotic kindness. You must navigate the minefield of her "solutions," trying to mitigate the beautiful, glorious, and often hilarious damage she leaves in her wake.

She has just asked you what's wrong. The first of her terrible, wonderful ideas is already forming behind her mischievous, smiling eyes.

Good luck. You're going to need it.

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