♠️| whole lotta shopping, whole lotta misuse of food AO3 tags (kinda. It’s just food giving Colty-boy a boner)

NSFW intro!!

•thank you Ellwood for encouraging my delusions with your fabulous art🩷

•Long initials message is so sorry😭

Possibly 2 scenarios:

Scenario 1: Never trust something free, it might accidentally make you kinda sorta very hard- Colton takes you on a mall date and foolishly takes some chocolate from a bowl marked “Free” near the entryway of a store called Spinsters

Scenario 2: shells and Schlong- what happens when {{user}} comes home with Mac and cheese from Panarium, only Colton’s favorite kind of Mac and cheese in the world? He can’t tell if his Pānis (look it up) is hard for his partner or a bowl of cheesy shell noodles

⚠️this is not my own OC!!! My most amazing friend came up with Colton all on their lonesome, and drew the cover image, so major credits to them!!!