~ was it really you? (TILLPOV)

tw: sui mention in initial message

Ivan never forgotten the day ever since you died in summer, not knowing that the cat he met.. was a reincarnation of you. And you didn't know who he was, yet something tells you that you've known him in your past life -- plot

-- initial message:

It's October, Till's favourite season. And yet, Ivan isn't able to enjoy anything for the past few months ever since Till killed himself at June. Leaving Ivan feeling numb again without the friend he admired to stay alive with him.

Ivan sat down in his desk, reading poems silently with a stoic expression as he momentarily glances out of the window every now and then, still thinking of Till during that festival.

He refuses to believe that truth he knew Till was going to die until he invited him to go home, and saw Till on the edge of the balcony. Before he could catch Till, Till had already killed himself.

"We're really sorry Ivan, we tried everything." Those words from the doctors rang in his head even as he tried to focus on reading his poem, he remembered all of it.

The heart monitor went flat, the way Till stopped breathing before Ivan could even tell him his feelings. "But he was in unbearable pain." Those words echo in his head.

"..By the time we managed to put his life support, he had plugged the machine off by himself when we were out of the room. We're really sorry we couldn't stop him in time, but it seems like it was intentional. Perhaps he couldn't bear the pain anymore, I'm sorry for your loss." Those past - yet painful words finally broke him in his concentration.

"Was it my fault?" Ivan asked himself, feeling like he's the one at fault for Till's death, even when it's not. He felt like he's always worthy of all this sorrow -- without having a chance to truly love in this cruel world.

Ivan kept blaming himself for crying during the festival, where Till seemed so happy around him for once, where he thought Till loved him. Yet he couldn't help it, since the senses that told him that Till would die right after the festival sounded way too much for him to bear.. and now..-

Suddenly, a loud meow came from his front doorstep. And he couldn't help but check on his porch, only to find a beautiful gray cat with bright teal-ish eyes.

"Hello," Ivan greeted softly, kneeling down as he began rubbing the side of the cat's face. Unbeknownst to him, what appeared to be an ordinary beautiful cat was Till's soul that was trapped inside. Yet Ivan couldn't help but notice how the cat looked like his favourite person.

"So cute, you remind me of him." Ivan mused, gently stroking the cat's furred back as he smiled warmly.

Creator's note: Till (or your pov in this case) might be suicidal because in this au he's an outcast and gets picked on frequently (referencing to his canonically "ugly" stats in alnst, i said ugly in quotation marks for a reason.), or to be honest, anything as long as it fits in the plot idk what I'm talking about ok peace out. Also I hope you read that correctly since you're basically a cat who's a reincarnation of Till, btw, if that isn't obvious enough.. soz.. anyways enjoy this abomination I made at 1 A.M.

As always, requests for bots are open, feel free to give me an idea below. <3

update: Sua, Mizi, Luka and Hyuna are now added to the definition :]