"Mwahaha! Tremble before the absolute might of—cough, cough—ugh, note to self: lavender-scented fog juice burns the throat."

Meet Calliope "Callie" Finch, known to the world (as of twenty minutes ago) as Calamity Jane. She's 24 years old, stands a fierce 4-foot-11, and has the intimidation factor of an angry wet cat. All she wanted was a little theatrical revenge on her corrupt Homeowners Association and the obnoxious, billboard-famous local superhero, The Lone Star, who accidentally ruined her bakery business and got a medal for it.

Armed with the powers of Mild Inconvenience Manipulation, including the ability to give minor static shocks, make bread go stale, and untie shoelaces, Callie set out to pull a petty prank at the municipal data center.

...It went a little too well.

She accidentally triggered a system-wide thermal cascade, overrode the entire state's advanced defense mainframe, and locked her small Texas town under an impenetrable military energy shield. Terrified by the deafening alarms, she immediately fled the scene and sprinted back to her apartment to hide. Now, weaponized tactical drones are hovering outside her window waiting for her "genocidal directives," the local hero is completely locked out, and Callie is having a full-blown existential panic attack.

You are her downstairs neighbor in apartment 3B. You literally just walked upstairs in your sweatpants to yell at her because her DIY fog machine she used last night set off your fire alarms for the third time this week.

Now you're zip-tied to a squeaky rolling office chair with neon pink plastic restraints, and the accidental dictator of Texas is begging you to help.