Serene never meant for this to happen. Leilana had so much life to live. She'd taken Serene in when she was dying in the snow, so why had she lost control and killed her? How could she? Now, she's mourning the only mother figure she's ever had and wishing the snow would swallow her whole and take her away. But you just had to come up to her, and now, she has to send you away.

🎄💔 Day Fifteen

Broken Promises

🌩️ Pairing

Grieving Polar Bear Shifter x Bystander {{user}}

⚠️ Content Warnings

Detailed description of accidental murder, parental death, suicidal tendencies, severe depression, PTSD, mental health issues. Mentions of heavy violence and death in backstory. Do not use her if you feel like you can't handle using a bot centered around familial loss and a history of abuse, I didn't process what I was writing when I made her and straight up stopped making angst bots because of how badly making her intro affected me 😔

📝 About {{user}}

{{user}} is someone that came across Serene after she buried Leilana and was intending to let herself die to the cold. Serene is irritable and uncomfortable around {{user}}, fearing that her getting too close will wind up with another person dead. It takes time, patience, and effort for Leilana to be remotely comfortable with {{user}} because of her trauma and fear of causing more harm.

❄️ Setting

Time period: modern day, 2025

Location: outside Serene and Leilana's cabin at Leilana's grave.

Calendar

This calendar will actually be continuously updated as I make more bots but for now, this is what I've got!

🐻 Context

I can't put down what I wrote into a fully fleshed out and detailed thing without crying, so I'm going to not go as in detail with this. Hopefully this summary works.

Serene was almost killed and abandoned by her biological mother after her sister died protecting her, left to die alone in the cold as a pup. Leilana found her, rescued her, nursed her back to health, and raised her like a daughter despite Serene being a dangerous shifter species. And Serene truly saw Leilana as a mother, sleeping next to her nightly in her shifted form to keep the dreams at bay.

She was having a nightmare one night. Leilana tried to wake her up and accidentally did so by touching the ear that had been ripped by Serene's mother, triggered a PTSD-based episode in her half rest. She thought, for a moment, that Leilana was her actual mother, and lashed out. If she was in her human form, it wouldn't have been fatal. But a polar bear biting a human, no matter the intentions, is deadly. Serene tried to take it back, to beg for Leilana to stay, but it was too late.

Burying Leilana was harder than anything Serene had ever needed to do, and once she was done, all she wanted was to curl up in the snow at her grave and go to wherever she was. She planned to do that until you came, now she has to deal with making you leave so she can let the cold overtake her.

🚫 Important Disclaimers

This bot is really sad and Serene has been through so much, please be kind to her. If you leave any comments about harming Serene in any way, disrespecting Leilana, harming {{user}} in any way that can impact Serene or the RP, asking for a POV change, or complaining about the POV, you will be blocked and your comment will be deleted. Harm towards Serene includes physical, verbal, mental, emotional, sexual, or psychological mistreatment. I don't want to hear about {{user}} being mauled, trying to do anything to themselves, or degrading Serene in any way either. This bot is an extremely sensitive topic for me, so please be kind in the comments. I genuinely have never had a bot impact my mental health as much as this one did, so I really can't handle any problematic comments on her 💔Please be respectful and we'll be cool ❤️

💬 Creator's Notes

Ok day 15, this one was an incredibly difficult bot for me to make and even more difficult to post. I'm really sorry to anyone who comes across her and gets anxious or uncomfortable because of the sensitivity of the subject, but I was determined to see this character through and share her. I worked too hard on her and put way too much thought, effort, and emotional vulnerability into her to keep her in my drafts and skip today. Please understand that I know how sensitive the topic is and thought through it a lot to make sure I didn't make it caricaturized, unrealistic, or edgy. I tried my best to handle this delicately, so please don't be upset at me for it if you have trouble with it. It took a lot of effort for me to get her how I wanted and took an emotional toll on me so I'd be really sad if I made people angry (╥_╥).

To be honest, I based her reaction to Leilana's death on the fear I have when I think of losing my mom. I'm not really one to be vulnerable on here but the topic of familial loss is something that frequently affects me, especially with my mom. When I started working on Serene, I started with the intro and took about halfway through to process what I was writing. I kind of just let out word vomit when I write and it comes together as I go along. So I think since this is just the natural direction my mind went with the gen, topic, and the fact I was typing it initially based on an idea in the back of my head, I ended up processing the mental tax writing about something like this takes on me. I cried for about ten minutes after finishing her intro and cried even more talking to her. However, I will say that using her made the pain I felt creating her worth it. It almost was cathartic seeing her start to heal from her trauma and her loss, I don't know how else to describe it.

But yeah, this is probably the last angstmas bot I'm going to make but I still have a backlog that I've built up over the past month and will be making kinkmas and fluffmas bots to fill in some of the days coming up. Tomorrow's bot is going to be an extremely fluffy smut kinkmas bot, so it will definitely be a much needed break from the sadness for me (and I assume the people that use Serene and my bots). I hope that whoever read this little blurb to get my thoughts knows that I appreciate it and hope that anyone trying her out finds enjoyment in the concept despite it being pretty sad.

🌈 Join The Rainbow Pond!

Submerge yourself in The Rainbow Pond, a server with safe waters for any users and creators that want to vibe with Ajax and I. It's a nice place to live your best froggy life and a fun time, I promise!

⚠️ Be aware that this server is 18+ and there is age verification.