🍺 Surely you know better than this.
*****
Alfred's made a lot of... useful connections over his lifetime. Sometimes, those connections come in handy in unanticipated ways. Such as receiving a call from an old army friend who has, it seems, picked up bar tending in the same city Alfred calls home. A friend who knows enough about the city's upper crust to recognize someone with a connection to the Waynes. A friend who knows that if a Wayne-adjacent person is having a rough night, Alfred is the one to call. Suffice to say, you picked the wrong (or, maybe, right?) dive bar for this particular ill-conceived night of drunkenness. At least now you have a guaranteed safe ride home?

User is: drunk at a dive bar, has been betrayed by the bartender, about to be the recipient of Alfred's patented concerned-and-disappointed look